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3 Bumps

Did you ever worry about how you would bond??

I have an 8 year old daughter and man is she about the greatest kid ever. I can't imagine not loving her or never have seen her smile and laugh and triumph. We have a very close bond. We both enjoy the same things like reading and old movies and nature and museums. She is a very well behaved little girl. Now I am pregnant with my first son who is due in 10 weeks. I am so excited and know already that I love him beyond reason as I do my daughter. I can't wait to hold him and nurture him, but I am terrified that I may not have as close a bond with him as I do my daughter. I don't want for the world to seem as if I am playing favorites because they are both equal to me. Has anyone ever felt like this before? I don't know today is just emotional for me. well thanks for listening to my newest fear and hopefully I can come through this and who knows maybe I can find new things to interest my son and I together.


Asked by angelmine2011 at 1:54 PM on Nov. 25, 2010 in General Parenting

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This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • Each child that is born will have things about them that you'll love them for. You obviously share a lot of things with your daughter, and that's probably why you feel so connected to her in many ways. When your son comes into the world he will be different and despite their differences between him and your daughter, you will love him as much as you do your daughter. Just differently, not any less. Their personalities will probably be very different, as well as the things the interests each of them have. I have no doubt that you'll love your child less, you will accept him for who he is and that is what matters.

    Answer by amessageofhope at 1:09 AM on Nov. 26, 2010

  • No. I have 4 children, my bond with each of them is very strong but very unique. I enjoy different things with each of them and we find closeness in different ways. There is no difference in the amount of love I feel for each of them, but it is expressed in ways that fit the relationship with and the personality of each child.

    Answer by Gaccck at 2:01 PM on Nov. 25, 2010

  • I don't think you have anything to worry about, as you can feel emotionally it start with that first little flutter and just the anxiety of wondering who the little person in your belly is... It just comes natural ya know.. and by your posting you are already there, and i bet the second you hear his little cry your there 100%.. we mothers have such awesome capabilities beyond peoples beliefs! ;)

    Answer by BobbieJo286 at 3:04 PM on Nov. 25, 2010

  • I remember being scared of this when I was pregnant with my son. My dd was almost two and I was afraid of not having the same type of relationship with her after son was born. My kids used to ask me, "mom who is your favorite?" and I would say you both are cause I love you equally. A mothers love knows no bounds it is equal for all her children. :)

    Answer by beyondhopes at 2:00 PM on Nov. 25, 2010

  • I still worry about it. My oldest and I didn't bond very well when he was a baby. I had severe PPD and wanted nothing to do with him... Then I got pregnant again right away... So it was double hard for me to bond with him. I love him dearly, but he's 4 now and we still don't have the bond I have with my other son or that he and my DH have. Now, I'm due with number 3 (due any day) and I have the worry that I'm going to have issues bonding with her as well because I have been horridly depressed about the entire pregnancy and really don't want another child. So yeah, I worry about it all the time. I've never been one that bonded with anyone well, it's always been hard for me. I just take it one day at a time and do the best I can...

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 2:01 PM on Nov. 25, 2010

  • Gosh you have all made me cry with your response. Thanks for answering it helps knowing that I am not alone with this fear. And I am worried about having ppd because I have been told since my moods are so erratic like I get so angry at times that I feel like hitting someone or I wake up out of a sound sleep just bawling my eyes out for no reason at all. IDK I know that I can do this right. I have a lot of nieces and nephews and I love them all equally as well and have great bonds with them to just in different ways so I bet I will be just fine with my son. If not then we will get help.

    Comment by angelmine2011 (original poster) at 2:11 PM on Nov. 25, 2010

  • i have 2 children and i remember being worried about this also. its perfectly natural to have this fear but in a few months you will have so much love for your little guy all this will just be forgotten. yes, we love our kids differently but love is love. we will still kill for them and die for them. you'll be fine mommie!

    Answer by lillie70 at 6:03 PM on Nov. 25, 2010

  • That is one of the few things I did not worry about, you would be surprised how much love a heart can hold!

    Answer by older at 10:45 AM on Nov. 26, 2010