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Has anyone ever been with a loved one when they passed away?

I was with my mom earlier this year when she died and I still cannot get over it. Of course, holidays this year are going to be hard, but I wanted to hear some other stories of how people were with their loved ones. The clincher for me was that I actually felt her pass to the other side - either that or I am completely nuts. I can't even describe it.

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cheeseit

Asked by cheeseit at 5:54 PM on Nov. 25, 2010 in Relationships

Level 9 (357 Credits)
Answers (13)
  • You're not nuts. My husband was with his dad when he passed away and he said he knew as soon as he was gone, like you could feel the peace. I'm sorry your holiday is rough, it does get better with time.
    scout_mom

    Answer by scout_mom at 5:57 PM on Nov. 25, 2010

  • I was with FIL, holding one of his hands as he passed; DH had the other. It was peaceful, the hospice had gentle, quiet music playing for us. I knew when he passed, too. SIL didn't want to believe it and I think MIL is still in denial somewhat, after nearly 18 months. For me his passing was a lot easier than I had expected it to be. I was terrified of going and being there, but I'm glad that I did.

    The first year of holidays were rough, and I'm "only the DIL," but he was more of a father to me than my own. It will get easier in time. I still miss my grandparents and they've been gone for over 10 years. But it's more of a wish they were here to see me now, and not an abject sadness.

    Big Hugs to You!!
    balagan_imma

    Answer by balagan_imma at 6:19 PM on Nov. 25, 2010

  • my dad died this spring
    he was alonewhen he died
    he was in nursing home last few month s of his life
    the last night mom was there (of course twice a day she would visit)
    and the last time she saw him, he kissed her and gave her some tongue!
    he was very ill and could not move much at all, could not swallow, barely one word
    so slipping her the tongue was unexcepted in his condition
    i think he was saying goodbye
    fiatpax

    Answer by fiatpax at 6:42 PM on Nov. 25, 2010

  • My younger sister & I was with my Dad when he passed. She was standing at his head of his hospital bed, out of his site. It was totally weird. He raised up looking for her. I told him she was there & pulled her around so she was standing next to me. He could see us both, took his last breath & relaxed. My Mother passed in her sleep, five years later. Without any warning. We had no clues she was sick. She said she was tired&that was all.She was 61 years old. Not old enough to die in my book Its never easy to loose your parents. Holidays are especially hard. Some parts of it gets easier, other parts never do...something will trigger a need that only they can fulfill, thats the part that lingers behind because we need them for simple things like a hug, that doesnt ever get easier.Do look around you,thank them for the blesings they have made possible in your life for bring YOU into the world. You are their blessin. Know that.
    lacyjones

    Answer by lacyjones at 6:49 PM on Nov. 25, 2010

  • I was with my grandpa when he passed away. It actually helped me to be there... I saw that it was very peaceful. I actually felt like he knew it was his time... he spent the few days before saying goodbye and making peace with people... he was expected to pass away but not so soon. I felt like he said his goodbyes and was ready to go. ((HUGS))- losing someone is so hard, and the first holiday without them is always difficult. Just remember that you always have your mom with you... she's a part of you.
    Freela

    Answer by Freela at 7:03 PM on Nov. 25, 2010

  • Yes, many of us have. I know that several members of my Widows Club, including the group leader, were with their husbands when they died. I was with my both my husband when he died and my Dad when he died. And a close friend held her daughter while she died.
    This is not an easy journey.
    ihatetocook

    Answer by ihatetocook at 7:06 PM on Nov. 25, 2010

  • Hugs to you all.
    Jambo4

    Answer by Jambo4 at 7:32 PM on Nov. 25, 2010

  • So sorry for your recent loss of your mom holidays are still quite tough for me and my parents have been gone since 2004/2007 I still just sorta go through the motions with the holidays if it wasn't for my kids I probably wouldn't celebrate any at all. But to answer your question I was with both of my parents when they passed away holding handing and talking to them We in fact had my dad laughing 5 minutes before he passed away his passing was peaceful and at home my moms on the other hand was at the hospital and I really didn't have a chance to say goodbye she was already gone mentally when I got there from sepsis.((hugs))
    liss05

    Answer by liss05 at 7:47 PM on Nov. 25, 2010

  • I was with my mom when she died, and I was with my younger brother when he died. It's hard, but as time is passing it gets a bit easier. I still miss them, but have come to a sort of acceptance. (((((hugs)))))
    Anna92464

    Answer by Anna92464 at 8:03 PM on Nov. 25, 2010

  • ♥HUGS EVERYONE♥

    I wasn't here when my Mom died in '03. Though she and I were at her Moms side when she passed in '83. She had been in a comatose state for 2 weeks. Hospice nurses had her in the bed by the window.

    They went to check on her and found her in the bed near the door looking out into the hallway. HOW she moved herself, and got INTO the bed without ANY assistance they did not know, given her condition and weeks before being in a coma for several days and being bed ridden all that time! She woke, but days later slipped back into it.

    They called us soon as they noticed she had moved herself, we got there after 3AM. Mom and I were putting lotion on her arms cause her skin was cool and so dry, we snuggled her all up. My Aunt, her hubby, 2 daughters showed 2 hours later, Lord knows how she held on! She died with Gramps and all of us whom loved her at her side as she took her last breath. Dec. 27th
    LilyPondOasis

    Answer by LilyPondOasis at 8:10 PM on Nov. 25, 2010

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