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3 Bumps

i'm pregnant again, but husband doesnt want it?

ok, i am pregnant again, my youngest will be 1 in february and my oldest will be 3 in march. this was an accident, we used a form of protection, it failed. my husband has 4 from a previous marriage and they come everyoter weekend. anyway when he found out i was pregnant he told me i better find a way to get rid of it. i dont believe in abortion and i hate him for even suggesting it. he has yelled at me ad we have fought but i refuse to listen to him, i am having this baby. he said this baby makes him regret he ever met me and stuff like that. my question is, how do i make him understand this baby will be part of our life? we dont even talk about it anymore, he didnt even go with me to ultrasound, he took the kids out to the truck to wait for me. when i was done i asked him if he wanted to see the ultrasound and he said no. how should i handle this?

Answer Question
 
heatheru78

Asked by heatheru78 at 8:38 PM on Nov. 25, 2010 in Pregnancy

Level 2 (8 Credits)
Answers (16)
  • I would leave my husband. That's not right.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:39 PM on Nov. 25, 2010

  • Either leave or stay and hope he changes his mind before baby comes. If he doesn't change once baby comes and he treats the baby badly, you have to leave for yall's safety.
    keisha613

    Answer by keisha613 at 8:46 PM on Nov. 25, 2010

  • If my husband was not willing to accept our child, it would be the deal breaker for me. With all the kids he already has, honestly, what is one more? I could never understand how someone that already has children, who has already seen them grow and be blessings in their life, has already seen the miracle of birth, etc. etc. can sit there and deny another child of theirs and think abortion is okay. Stand your ground and if he doesn't start being supportive and accepting the baby, then maybe its time to start thinking of other options...as far as being together with him goes. Marriage does not mean ONLY in times when everything is fine and dandy.
    Ash9724

    Answer by Ash9724 at 8:47 PM on Nov. 25, 2010

  • It doesn't sound like there is much you can do. He seems to be pretty checked out right now. If he was that sure he was done having children he should have had a vasectomy. In the meantime, if you want to keep the baby you have to accept the fact that the relationship is forever altered. Personally , I think he's being an insenstive ass... but that's just me. I wouldn't continue to want a many who could say those kinds of hurtful things to me.
    GrnEyedGrandma

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 8:49 PM on Nov. 25, 2010

  • You could go ahead with the pregnancy and risk losing him and having to raise 3 children alone. I don't believe in abortion either. Was he this way when you got pregnant with the other two? He sounds very overwhelmed. Is he paying child support for 4 kids plus taking care of you and your children? Are finances an issue? Do you work? I would sit down with him and discuss things to try to figure out his agenda and where he is coming from. If finances are not an issue than you need to find out what is going on. Good luck.
    twinkletoes0408

    Answer by twinkletoes0408 at 8:54 PM on Nov. 25, 2010

  • i thought you was on the pill or some shit...must'a been thinkin of brittney
    cheribabii613

    Answer by cheribabii613 at 9:03 PM on Nov. 25, 2010

  • LEAVE.....that will just put stress on you if you stay!!! Put him to the curb!!!!
    thutch21

    Answer by thutch21 at 9:15 PM on Nov. 25, 2010

  • Sorry but it would never be acceptable for my husband to act like that with one of our children, if you can't talk to him and figure a way to work through things now chances are it will just get worse once you have the baby. He should not be trying to guilt you into an abortion, if you did go that route you would just end up resenting him and your relationship would probably never be the same. Personally I would sit down and talk to him and let him know that either he needs to accept his child or leave, no one should have to grow up with a father that obviously treats and feels differently about him then his siblings and he shouldn't be treating you like your a horrible person for not wanting to get an abortion either, that's just wrong and gross.
    pwebster12

    Answer by pwebster12 at 9:17 PM on Nov. 25, 2010

  • He can either support you (and your baby) emotionally now, OR he can support you financially when you leave his sorry ass. Choice is his!
    GoodyBrook

    Answer by GoodyBrook at 10:23 PM on Nov. 25, 2010

  • What it boils down to is: What do YOU want? If you want this baby then you will most likely be raising your children alone. But it is something that you can do. It will be a lot of work mind you but possble none the less. If you get an abortion like he wants the you most likely will resent him and yourself for giving in to what you did not want. Again putting you in a position to be on your own. So either you guys find a way to agree and work this out or you lose each other in the end. Also I would tell him that if he didn't or doesn't want any more kids to get himself fixed. Tell him to grow up and realize that sex no matter how well protected you are could lead to possible pregnancy. One other option for you guys is have you thought about adoption. I wish you all the luck in the world, but remember this has to be YOUR choice.
    angelmine2011

    Answer by angelmine2011 at 10:24 PM on Nov. 25, 2010

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