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Lost, Confused and Scared.... adult content

I don't know how to word this. I noticed lately that I think more seriously about my boyfriend, like one day its possible that we could get married. To be honest I havent even kissed him yet.

I think both of us are kind of shy, my problem is, I really like him, a LOT. He is the "perfect" guy for me. No he isnt perfect, but he is for me. I am falling in love with him.

My problem, I have been in relationships before and something went down hill right before the holidays. I am taking it slow with him because I dont want to ruin anything. I broke it off with the other guys.

I want to keep him. He is willing to do anything for me and I'm willing to do the same for him.

I am so full of mixed emotions though. I'm scared of my son starting to love him and me falling even more in love with him and then something happening. I'm confused because things like sex, scare me. I was pushed into it with my first real relationship. Ever since, the idea of sex scares me.

I dont know how to word what I'm thinking. I am just lost.

Anyone been in a place like this? I have this thing of not wanting a guy to spend money on me for christmas when I dont know if it will last. I feel myself pulling away right now. But I dont even think of breaking up with him. I just told him what was going on and that I might pull away. he said he would be here for me no matter what. That made me so happy!

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JuneBug1985

Asked by JuneBug1985 at 1:39 AM on Nov. 26, 2010 in Relationships

Level 10 (375 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • Don't think so much, forget about Christmas, forget about the past..allow yourself to just breathe in the here and now, be brave and you'll find your happiness.
    chocolatluver

    Answer by chocolatluver at 1:44 AM on Nov. 26, 2010

  • Therapy would help you out in figuring things out and until then keep the guys as friends
    wheresthewayout

    Answer by wheresthewayout at 1:49 AM on Nov. 26, 2010

  • It's so hard to trust again when that trust has been broken, I know, been there! But it sounds like he's a good listener and wants to be there for you. Keep communicating your fears and let him know how you feel. I found someone like him and we've been married 27yrs now! We dated for 3yrs before I finally trusted in my feelings enough to allow myself to love & be loved.
    Kathy675

    Answer by Kathy675 at 2:01 AM on Nov. 26, 2010

  • Just take it slowly, and try not to focus so much on the holidays. Good luck momma!
    sineado39

    Answer by sineado39 at 2:15 AM on Nov. 26, 2010

  • I know what it's like to be guarded, I struggle with it to this day and we've been together 9 years! Take it from me, it so much easier to allow yourself to be loved and cared for than it is to resist it. It's worth it, the issues may never go away but it does get better and he sounds like he's open to communicating with you, that's a great sign that you got a good guy! Allow yourself to love him and allow him to love you back.
    marine_wife0520

    Answer by marine_wife0520 at 7:43 AM on Nov. 26, 2010

  • Dont be jaded by the past my dear. If he is willing to stand by you and listen to you, you need to trust him with your fears. If he cant handle the way you feel then bounce. If he has the same feelings for you as you do him, then he will understand your fears and help you through them. as far as sex goes... you and him will find a way to ease into it when you are BOTH ready for it. Dont stress this relationship or you could ruin whats there. DOnt think so much and dont over analyze things. I am the SAME way...lol. Just love him. Remember the saying "LIVE, LAUGH, LOVE"!
    AingealsBabies

    Answer by AingealsBabies at 9:54 AM on Nov. 26, 2010

  • Do what feels right and let it happen. The past is the past and it was other people that you were tied to when things went wrong. Let him show you him and see what happens, things happen for a reason!
    2boysnaprincess

    Answer by 2boysnaprincess at 11:53 AM on Nov. 26, 2010

  • THank you all for your input. All of this has actually helped a LOT! I quit looking at what has happened in my past with other guys. This last week was so WONDERFUL! I konw he probably isnt going anywhere when he will drive 40 minutes one way to go to church with me now. Plus he roots me on with ANYTHING I want to do and he said he has started to listen to MY stations when I"m not in the car!

    I feel myself doing the same things.

    We have said, if its meant to be, then it will be, its its not, we'll still be friends. We started out that way.

    THANK YOU AGAIN
    JuneBug1985

    Comment by JuneBug1985 (original poster) at 10:46 PM on Nov. 29, 2010

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