Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

I owe him?

My husband thinks that I owe him for allowing me to stay home with the kids. He wants to know what I do for him to show him how much I appreciate him. He wants special favors (that really gross me out). When I'm not willing to perform favors he wants to know when am I going to go back to work. Our youngest will be in kindergarten next year. He complains about my cooking (I am a terrible cook). Then he complains that he has to fix himself something else to eat. He thinks I should be happy to pick up after him. I have to say that I do a good job of keeping up the house. Do I owe him these favors just because i stay at home? I thought staying at meant that it was for the both of us for the benefit of OUR kids. I really needed to vent & get some comments on this situation. I'm sure there are many moms out there who have similar issues.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:46 AM on Nov. 5, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • OH HELL NO GIRL! You are a family! do not let him abuse you like that.... that makes me sick

    you clean the house, cook (regardless of quality) and take care of you kids, tell him to kiss your ass...slave driving days are over!!

    sorry i know he is ur husband but he sounds like a bastard, i'd punch him in the face if i knew him!!
    JuLiAnSmOmMy317

    Answer by JuLiAnSmOmMy317 at 8:57 AM on Nov. 5, 2008

  • You owe him nothing, he is being abusive with you. You both could use some counseling. You sound like you are doing a great job keeping the house and he resents you not working.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:02 AM on Nov. 5, 2008

  • Ummmm if you are not comfortable with these favours then don't do them. He is trying to extort you. That is so not cool on his part.
    MeeShee

    Answer by MeeShee at 9:06 AM on Nov. 5, 2008

  • No, you don't owe him anything. Yes, our husbands work hard to keep us at home but that does not mean that you owe him your soul. We are home for our kids, not ourselves. I'm sure there are some moms out there that would prefer to be with adults at times than listen to spongebob all day but it is a very very hard job to raise kids. Just know that there are many people out there that could not do the job that you (and all SAHM) do. Maybe he just hates his job and feels that if you went back to work he could take time off or look for something else without taking a chance that the bills won't get paid, some men think like that. They feel like "hey, if she goes back towork then I can leave my job and look for something else". Do what feels right in your heart, not because he's making you do it.
    Jerseymom1228

    Answer by Jerseymom1228 at 9:26 AM on Nov. 5, 2008

  • My fathers ex wife went threw the same crap with him as u are now.Get out while you still can or you will end up like she did. She delt with it so long that she became extremly depressed and now everyone is paying for it ecspecially the kids.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:27 AM on Nov. 5, 2008

  • I am a SAHM also, and I "owe" my husband nothing. He understands that the things I do for him, are because I WANT to do them for him...not because it's expected of me. I clean, cook, take care of the kids, and still perform for him in the bedroom. However, if one or more of my "chores" go undone he doesn't even comment on it.
    What your husband is doing is wrong, borderline abusive IMO. If you're uncomfortable performing certain acts for him then you should not feel as if you have to do them. As a family, you both contribute to the household, even if your contribution isn't finacial it doesn't make it any less important. Stop cooking and cleaning for a few days and see what he says then!
    KennsWifey

    Answer by KennsWifey at 9:31 AM on Nov. 5, 2008

  • You owe him nothing., He is an ungratful ass.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:52 AM on Nov. 5, 2008

  • Um, no.
    OhSusan

    Answer by OhSusan at 11:52 AM on Nov. 5, 2008

  • HELL NO!!!!!you do plenty.I garentee he goes to work with clean clothes,a shower ,kids are happy and clean and who ever cooks it,hes not hungry!!!
    lifeisgood176

    Answer by lifeisgood176 at 1:05 PM on Nov. 5, 2008

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.