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11 Bumps

What is wrong with you women? Ex Wives have more rights than you do!

Good god, I am so tired of reading through the complaints about the ex wives, and their children.

If you get involved with a man who has children, you also get involved with his ex by default. That however, does NOT give you any right to assume that anything should change for you, or that you have the right to change it... If they have worked something out for their child(ren), keep your jealousy OUT of it!!!

What makes you feel you have the right?

(BTW- My SO and I are both divorced with children. We live together, and we deal with the EXs on a regular basis, and we STAY THE HELL OUT OF THE OTHERS AFFAIRS!!)

Answer Question
 
ObbyDobbie

Asked by ObbyDobbie at 9:16 AM on Nov. 26, 2010 in Relationships

Level 34 (70,074 Credits)
Answers (32)
  • I wish both sides would get the jealousies out of it. It is quiet a mess.
    DevilInPigtails

    Answer by DevilInPigtails at 9:19 AM on Nov. 26, 2010

  • i gotta agree

    Its jealousy and a desire to have that person out of their lives. IMHO
    Zoeyis

    Answer by Zoeyis at 9:19 AM on Nov. 26, 2010

  • Too many women tend to go into a relationship under the delusion that they are the first for their mates. So, when the ex pops in with the kiddos, they get upset that their 'dream' is not as it is in their head.

    My thoughts...don't enter into a relationship with a person that has kids from another relationship if you aren't willing to accept that their mother/father will always be in the picture and they have had sex, feelings, experiences with your SO and that will never change.
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 9:22 AM on Nov. 26, 2010

  • There are situations that a wife has the right to tell her husband that the ex wife is being a bitch or being unfair. Just because he was once married to her, does not mean that she has the right to be a freaking whack job. My first husband's ex wife was neglecting the kids. I insisted that he take her to court and get custody. Did I interfer--Hell yes and damn proud of it.

    My sister's husband's ex wife tried to change the terms of the custody at her whim and always threatened to call her lawyer if he didn't agree. My sister encouraged him to call his lawyer first. Did she interfer? Hell yes and she's damn proud of it too.

    Just because they are an ex wife, doesn't mean they can be nasty bitches.
    layh41407

    Answer by layh41407 at 9:22 AM on Nov. 26, 2010

  • I just can't understand it! His ex has rights that I don't, because they have children together- just like my ex does. Its a line you just don't cross... Both of us would LOVE to be rid of our EXs, but since we cant be, why would we make things worse by butting in where we don't belong?

    I guess I don't understand 'jealousy' as most people experience it. To me that looks like being possessive, which is NEVER ok.
    ObbyDobbie

    Comment by ObbyDobbie (original poster) at 9:23 AM on Nov. 26, 2010

  • Or I should say it doesn't give them the right to be nasty bitches.
    layh41407

    Answer by layh41407 at 9:23 AM on Nov. 26, 2010

  • Oh, and for me, jealousy had nothing to do with it. It was the fact that she was a lousy mother who didn't deserve her children. The court agreed.
    layh41407

    Answer by layh41407 at 9:24 AM on Nov. 26, 2010

  • layh, I understand what you're saying. That's an extreme example though, and what I refer to is normal co-parenting situations in which the new SO/wife/GF feels she can dictate what should and should not happen with the ex, and the kids.
    ObbyDobbie

    Comment by ObbyDobbie (original poster) at 9:26 AM on Nov. 26, 2010

  • I agree. when you have x-marriage and children there is no room for jealousy.
    The children come first. Me and my ex's girl friend are not best friends' but
    we do have one thing in common and that is my son. We are both a part of his
    life. We get along fine. We talk about holiday and b-days. What she getting him
    and what Im getting him. So we don't get the same thing.
    HomeAlone45

    Answer by HomeAlone45 at 9:31 AM on Nov. 26, 2010

  • Maybe "right" isn't the word you want to use. From a legal and an emotional standpoint, the current wife does have more rights than the ex wife.

    I also don't think it's a matter of jealousy. A lot of ex wives try their very best to screw their former husbands from as much money as they can get and try to make this current marriage miserable.
    HotMama330

    Answer by HotMama330 at 9:34 AM on Nov. 26, 2010

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