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4 Bumps

How do you handle two kids?

I some times feel like I resent my oldest because I feel like I am always yelling at him to keep him out of danger or getting me into trouble that I don't get to enjoy my youngest that is just learning how to walk.

My hubby says I can't get a harness for him (he is 3) but I would perfer not to have to constantly chase after him because he is trying to run into the road or climb something he isn't suppose to. I wish I could just disipline him, but the place we are staying has pretty much removed my power over him as his parent and has threatend to call CPS on us if we do disipline him.

(please escuse the spelling, this computer doesn't have spell check and I am emotionally distraught)

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:18 PM on Nov. 26, 2010 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • You need to discipline him. CPS isn't going to do anything because you put your 3 year old in time out for running in the street. That is asinine.

    TaraK.

    Answer by TaraK. at 4:33 PM on Nov. 26, 2010

  • Where in the world do you live that controls how you discipline your children.
    tootoobusy

    Answer by tootoobusy at 4:26 PM on Nov. 26, 2010

  • I always made my kids hold my hand/s. Or if they where young enough I put them in a stoller. Tell his parents to stick their oppinions. And mind their own business.

    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 4:29 PM on Nov. 26, 2010

  • When we leave our home my children must stay close to me and hold hands.

    NO one can tell YOU how to raise your children. Discipline is not abuse adn CPS isn't going to do anything. If your child is truly being abused the casework will see that instantly.
    Claudiomom

    Answer by Claudiomom at 4:34 PM on Nov. 26, 2010

  • Time out works as discipline (better than spanking does, for me these days). As does threatening to take things away. (For my daughter, if I threaten to put the dog in her crate, she will cooperate. But she's 2.) Also, reward for good behavior. This doesn't sound like an issue with having two kids, just an issue with how one behaves. If you're constantly getting on to your oldest, he will act out more and more. You need to reward him when he IS good. If he spends some time being quiet and good, playing on his own, or being helpful, tell him thank you. give him some love and let him know you appreciate when he's behaving. Give him something he likes but doesn't get all day long, like some juice, fruit snacks, or a small piece of candy. Then he will want to behave more often.
    FluffyMamaBunny

    Answer by FluffyMamaBunny at 4:35 PM on Nov. 26, 2010

  • If your child doesn't behave outside, he doesn't go outside. If you can't keep him under control when you go to a store, find a sitter while you're shopping. I have a 3 year old son who in crowds does not behave. He gets overwhelmed with all the activity and stimulation and takes off, screams, whatever thing he can do to missbehave for attention. I've stopped taking him to places like fairs, busy parks, etc because I can't trust him not to take off on me. Fortunately I don't live too close to the road, and my son plays in the driveway, but I'm sure once the baby comes we'll have some issues. Use a firm voice, be consistant. Use time outs. One minute for every year of age. My son gets extra time if he screams while he's in time out. He doesn't like being sent to his room, so he stops whatever he's doing wrong when I threaten him with that as a consequence. GL!
    BisketLiss

    Answer by BisketLiss at 4:35 PM on Nov. 26, 2010

  • Try to make your three year old apart of EVERYTHING. For example, your cooking, have him add the dry ingredients (pre-measured). Or at the grocery store, when your in the produce section ask him to find you the red apple. You can help him feel included with your younger child by asking your three year old to show your baby how to walk quickly or slowly or crawl.

    I also agree that time outs work best. I've always lived by the 'pick your battles with your children, but if you pick a battle WIN' another words don't give up, your discipline will be much more successful if you follow through or ignore NEVER give up. GL Message me if you need ideas for a specific occasion.
    lmt_mom2010

    Answer by lmt_mom2010 at 4:47 PM on Nov. 26, 2010

  • I have 3 children, 2 of which are a set of twins. You will be okay, I know that it doesnt seem like it now, but at least you have someone to help you. I didnt. Anyway using time-outs is a very effective method with 3yr olds, my twins are 3. Plus even if you give a swat to the butt, its not child abuse. make sure that you stick to your guns on dicipline, or your child will surely run all over you. Be consistant with all dicipline!
    AingealsBabies

    Answer by AingealsBabies at 4:55 PM on Nov. 26, 2010

  • I have three kids, currently aged 8, 6, and almost 4. When you add another baby, it's easy to end up feeling like the first child is now a 'big kid' who should know better. Realistically, your son is probably behaving like a three year old... because he is one.

    A couple things that worked when my son was three: praise all the good behaviour, have a reward system if that helps you to remember. My son likes attention. If he can't get good attention, he will settle for bad attention. Basically ignoring the good but yelling at the bad just reinforced his bad behaviour because it got more attention. When I would praise good behaviour, I got more of that.

    I don't know where you're living where you feel you can't discipline your child... but you can. Discipline does not need to equal physical discipline at any rate. Do you really think CAS can't tell normal discipline from abuse? They can, honestly!
    Freela

    Answer by Freela at 5:03 PM on Nov. 26, 2010

  • Just breathe raise your kids how you need to raise them. Like everyone else said cps won't do anything for disciplining your child good luck mama
    Heidikans

    Answer by Heidikans at 5:19 PM on Nov. 26, 2010

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