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3 Bumps

Being married SUCKS.

There is no other man, just me and my son. My husband is a decent father, but he is a horrible husband. I am his second wife. He does a lot around the house, but he is verbally abusive to me, and plays mind games with me. He puts his family before me all the time. He would put a stranger before me. He provokes me and provokes me until I speak in anger then accuses me of being a troublemaker. He doesn't appreciate anything I do or have been through. We don't have sex at all, and I don't want to with him. I live in a GHETTO with him, his family is shady, and I am feeling trapped and alone. I want my son to have better than this. I don't know what to do.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 5:42 PM on Nov. 26, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (20)
  • My best advise...he was probably like this when you married him so you got what you got. If you choose to settle for that then that's what you do. Otherwise, find a way to get out. It can be tough but if you are really determined, you can do it.
    He probably will not change and if he does for you, then it will not stick.

    Answer by Jademom07 at 5:45 PM on Nov. 26, 2010

  • Try to see if your family will help you out.

    Answer by chanelsparkels at 5:47 PM on Nov. 26, 2010

  • The verbal abuse got worse AFTER we were married and when I got pregnant. He wasn't this bad before, but he really has let his true colors come out. You are right though, I did settle. When I met him he was nicer, but I deserve so much better and took him because he was nice I was sick of getting played by losers. Look what happened.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 5:48 PM on Nov. 26, 2010

  • First ((((HUGS))) Second make a plan and run its hard I had to and the truth was it got so much better. You have reached the end of the road and there is nothing wrong with deciding your child deserves better. Figure out what you want make a plan and leave. Only you can know if that is going back to school or getting a job applying for section eight housing anything to help you step out and then up God speed.

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 5:48 PM on Nov. 26, 2010

  • My family is terrified of divorce and will blame me for not sticking it out. They will be no help and will drive me to jump off a bridge if I went to them.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 5:49 PM on Nov. 26, 2010

  • Leave where there is a will there is a way

    Answer by daisysrdeadly at 5:49 PM on Nov. 26, 2010

  • Id leave but that's just me

    Answer by Heidikans at 5:50 PM on Nov. 26, 2010

  • If your family wont help, find another way. Any kind of way. Its possible. You can figure this out. You dont need them if all they are going to do is be critical of you. You do NOT deserve to be in a place where you are not loved or appreciated for the wonderful woman you are. If your husband is abusive to you then you OWE it to yourself AND your child to leave. You can create a loving safe home for your child without that man & without your critical family. People that really care about you support you emotionally no matter what. Good luck to you.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:55 PM on Nov. 26, 2010

  • Husbands can change but they have to be inspired to change.

    Answer by NannyB. at 5:58 PM on Nov. 26, 2010

  • You deserve happiness even if your family doesn't want that for you. My grandmother kept telling me to stay in an abusive marriage until I got out of the ER for the second time. Then she decided God had something better for me and gave me her blessing to divorce. Don't wait until something bad happens. Make a plan and get out if you are that miserable and he is abusive. Even verbally abusive isn't good for kids.

    Answer by admckenzie at 5:59 PM on Nov. 26, 2010

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