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2 Bumps

So I am getting...

Small gifts for each of my sisters and SIL, I am also getting something for SO's SIL and sisters along with my mom and his mom. Nothing big...hand cream, foot cream, chapstick, tart warmer and a tart.
When I told SO this, he comments..."WE don't get each other gifts, we do a grab bag. That way no one feels like they should have to buy for anyone else."

I do this because I WANT to, not because I expect anything in return. Why do I feel irritated by his comment? I KNOW that they don't buy for everyone. It's just something that I want to do.
Sorry, this is more of a vent.

 
Jademom07

Asked by Jademom07 at 6:03 PM on Nov. 26, 2010 in Holidays

Level 34 (64,323 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • Well here is the thing. Your irritated because you think of something nice to do and some one tells you don't bother. I think it is nice and you should do it if you want to. So pewie on him.
    mmmegan38

    Answer by mmmegan38 at 6:39 PM on Nov. 26, 2010

  • gave you a bump
    meagan678

    Answer by meagan678 at 6:08 PM on Nov. 26, 2010

  • If you draw names you should just give the person you drew a gift. I know it seems like you are being sweet but it makes other people feel uncomfortable receiving something when they don't have a gift to give.
    TaraK.

    Answer by TaraK. at 6:08 PM on Nov. 26, 2010

  • maybe that was just his way of saying you dont have to worry about it because you probably wont get anything back... some people just dont realize that some just like giving!! who cares if you dont get anything back!!! Its always good to be thoughtful!!! (:
    mohme2three

    Answer by mohme2three at 6:08 PM on Nov. 26, 2010

  • p.s. we have huge family get togethers, and lost of people decided to stop w/ gifts for everyone because they couldnt afford it.. some still gave small things.. and no one felt uncomfortable w/ getting something and not having a gift in return.. they were very grateful.. and im sure they remembered it and payed it forward to that person in the future.. if you want to give gifts, then girl you give your heart out!!! dont ever let someone to tell you not to give because you arent receiving!
    mohme2three

    Answer by mohme2three at 6:10 PM on Nov. 26, 2010

  • If that is what makes you happy I would do it. Men don't think or feel the way we do so they can think one minded most of the time. I understand that his statement made you irritated because he is very close to you. But I am sure that everyone you buy gifts for will be happy and that is all that truly matters. We all want our hubby or SO to support us all the time but its not going to happen so do what makes you happy this year.
    kim0167

    Answer by kim0167 at 6:10 PM on Nov. 26, 2010

  • I think the grab bag is a good idea especially in these times. I think that you should respect their traditional way of doing things and not rock the boat; unless you want to stir up hard feelings. You giving them gifts would kinda make them feel obligated=KWIM? Just go along with the game the way it is played; if you want to get for your Mother; sisters; sil; and auntie mame fine; but you shouldn't give his side the gifts!
    MamaAlice54

    Answer by MamaAlice54 at 6:10 PM on Nov. 26, 2010

  • I bought things for hubby's family the first few years we were married. I was met with the same kind of response from the recipients. It seemed really rude to me to say "why did you do that" instead of "thank you", but that is how his family is. I stopped doing it, they didn't appreciate it and I didn't appreciate their reactions.

    scout_mom

    Answer by scout_mom at 7:36 PM on Nov. 26, 2010

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