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2 Bumps

worried about nephew

My husband's brother ( was ) addicted to drugs ( he is clean and decent now ) .. of course at one time he was dating another druggie and she got pregnant twice... they have a 10 year old and 8 year old ... they were both born addicted to drugs and when they were babies my MIL and FIL adopted them... she let the mom and dad still live with them - BIL went to jail for awhile and their mother was in and out ( she would go away when she would meet another guy ) ...... My husband finally stepped in and told MIL that they NEED to keep the bio parents away ( the mom legally wasnt even suppose to be around them ) .... it took awhile but she has been out of the picture for awhile now ( she calls and tries to go there but MIL turns her away) ... The dad is now a different guy he is engaged to a great woman ( doesnt smoke or drink) They bought a house, both work decent jobs, etc... He takes care of the kids whenever MIL needs a "babysitter" ( he basically sees and spends atleast a little time with them everyday) ...

Anyways it is very obviouse that the kids have problems and MIL and FIL is letting it continue... I also think it has to do with the way they are "raising them" ...

Neice isnt that bad, but I think she will have issues when she gets a little older, she does good in school but she has the attitude of a 5 year old - she is also always nervous, she bites her nails until they bleed, she is always sick ( MIL just says it is a cold or flu but she is very sick atleast twice a month) and her hair is even falling out ( to where she has bald spots) --- MIL wont take her to the DR.

Nephew is a different story... he acts horribly ... He will poop and pee his pants ( holds it at school but has had "accidents there )... at home he destroys everything, their walls, furniture and carpet are literally destroyed with perm. markers, ( even the new $1000 bunk bed MIL just bought them) , there is food smeared on the walls and in the carpet... he doesnt listen at all and is soo hyper and plays so "hard" that he is covered in sweat within mintues..

They go to a "poor school" it is obvious they arent catching it because I have seen their work and even the wrong answers are marked wrong ( and some are simple addition) ...

The school did tell MIL one time that she should consider some kind of ADHD medicine but she and FIL said no because they dont want him to be a zombie...

I KNOW something is wrong with them, I KNOW they need to go atleast once to talk to someone or to some DR... but MIL and FIL dont see it - they are in their early 70s and I think mayeb it is also that they have a hard time taking care of them...

and if something does happen to them their custody goes to me and my husband...and i am afriad by that time it will be too late for help...

My husband notices this to but it " too afraid" of his mom to say anything

what would you do ?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 9:52 PM on Nov. 26, 2010 in Parenting Debate

Answers (4)
  • Somebody needs to do something. You can't take the world on your shoulders. I think the best thing to do at this point would be to call child protective services, explain that the kids aren't mistreated, but that there is something wrong and something needs to be done, and see what they tell you.

    Answer by FluffyMamaBunny at 9:59 PM on Nov. 26, 2010

  • If you don't want to call child services then you should call their school. If you are seeing this than maybe they have too. A school can call your MIL and FIL and tell them they need to have the kids go to a DR and get well visits bc of things they and you have seen. Gotta be a tough spot good luck.

    Answer by andria82 at 10:53 PM on Nov. 26, 2010

  • Have you thought of taking them to the doctor yourself to see if something is wrong with them? Tell them that you are going to take them to the park, but instead take them to the doctor and see for yourself. They are probably in denial about them having issues. You could also talk to a social worker and have them check in once in a while.

    Answer by amessageofhope at 12:40 AM on Nov. 27, 2010

  • Let me address the issue of your MIL & FIL being a little leary of placing the nephew on ADHD medicine b/c they don't want him 2 become a zombie: the meds that they make now doesn't make a child a zombie if anything it helps to address the hyperness as well as the short attention span that the child's experiencing. I speak from experience. They need 2 do something w/him b4 something bad happens 2 him or he ends up doing something bad 2 someone else. As for your niece, since your MIL won't take her 2 the dr 2 see what's going on w/her maybe u should take a stand & do it yourself. It makes no sense for the kidz 2 be suffering physically as well as mentally & emotionally when there's help available.


    Answer by NubianQueen78 at 7:40 AM on Nov. 28, 2010

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