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6 Bumps

What would you do ?

My husband suddenly passed away this past summer. We have a 3 1/2 year old daughter.

When he died I got almost $230,000 ... right now we are living with my parents but I plan on buying a modular home and putting it on their land ( they have 75 acres) ... I plan on living on a budget and staying home with my daughter until she starts school in 2012 and then I am going to work at my aunt successful beauty salon ( I already have my lisence from before I had my daughter, and she already offered me a job for when i want it ) ... This is what my husband and i planned on doing all along too ( for me to work when she goes to school ) ... and I really think it is the best for her and I ...

This plan has made the last months a little better and the future not look as bad...

UNTIL... 2 months after he died a woman " came forward " and said that her and my husband has an affair and that her 3 month old baby was his and that he was also planning on leaving me for her... ( I actually know her because we live in a small town and she doesnt have the best reputation)

At first I didnt believe it because of a few reasons ( her reputation being one of them), plus the relationship that my husband and I had, it is just hard to believe that he did, especially since I cant see when he had time... The only time we werent together was when he was at work (and he would always answer the phone when i would call ) .... I havent seen the baby but some people that have seen it said it looks too dark to be my husbands ( he had blonde hair , blue eyes) and the baby looks a little too tan and has black hair and dark eyes ( so i am told ) ...

BUT the biggest thing is.... is that she said that her daughter deserves half of the money we got ...

My question is...if we did get a DNA test and it was his baby would you give her half ?

or would you even get the test done... can she legally get the test done and take half of the money ?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 11:20 PM on Nov. 26, 2010 in Parenting Debate

Answers (23)
  • Who told her about the money?

    Answer by Simplicity3 at 11:22 PM on Nov. 26, 2010

  • Wow. I am sorry about the loss of your husband and sorry to hear this news about this woman. First of all, if your husband had a life insurance policy naming you as the beneficiary, I would NOT even speak to this woman. If she wants a DNA test, let her hire a lawyer and do this legally. I seriously doubt she can take any of your money. You stated that she had a reputation. Maybe she is a gold digger looking for money and she thinks you'll do her a favor. I wouldn't speak to her. If she contacts you again, tell her to call your lawyer...I would consult one by the way just to protect yourself. I would think that he wasn't on a birth certificate as the father, and that this is just heresay she won't have a leg to stand on. I'm really sorry about this! Good luck.

    Answer by twinkletoes0408 at 11:25 PM on Nov. 26, 2010

  • I would get the test done. No, she can not legally take half. There's nothing that she could do. What would you do if it turned out the child was his? I would not feel obligated to give her a cent. Even if it was his, I'd probably just call her a whore and tell her that's what she gets for sleeping around. That's just me though.

    Answer by FluffyMamaBunny at 11:28 PM on Nov. 26, 2010

  • she found out because we live in a very small country town ( where people talk lol ) .. we have only a little over 800 people...

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:31 PM on Nov. 26, 2010

  • Twinkletoes said just what I would have said.
    I am so sorry for your loss and for what you're going through.

    Answer by TARARENEE at 11:33 PM on Nov. 26, 2010

  • If you were listed as beneficiary for the money then it should be YOURS! It sounds very suspicious that she waits till now to 'come forward' about her child and that she says the baby deserves half the money. Why did she not come forward when she found out she was pregnant or when your husband was alive?  (sounds like she wants $$).  If I were you I would consult a lawyer about your legal rights. I would not talk to her, I would tell her that "she will be hearing from my lawyer" and maybe the thought of taking this to court might scare her enough to make her back off (especially if she is trying to con you). If it turns out the child is your late husbands and you have to give money I would set the money up in a trust that is untouchable until the child is 21-- that way the mom can't get her greedy hands on it and spend it.  


    Answer by MizLee at 11:34 PM on Nov. 26, 2010

  • ONE STEP AT A TIME....get the DNA test so that you know the truth and can face it...otherwise it will bug you and be in the back of your mind....after that you will know what the 'right' thing to do sorry you are going through this and sorry for your loss...hope it gets better soon!

    Answer by mamagee1218 at 11:41 PM on Nov. 26, 2010

  • She can't legally have anything until she can PROVE paternity! Have HER prove it first, then worry about what to do.

    Answer by raynestar at 11:45 PM on Nov. 26, 2010

  • Your husband had blonde hair and blue eyes, and since the baby, by what you've been told, doesn't favor him. Even though he is deceased, they can do a DNA between the two children and they should share a few common markers in their DNA. How did she find out about the money. I would think as long as you were listed as the only beneficiary, you are the one legally entitled to the money. I hope you still have a copy of it just in case it is needed. I really don't think she can get anywhere with this legally.

    Answer by amessageofhope at 12:12 AM on Nov. 27, 2010

  • Sorry about your husband, what a terrible thing to deal with. I would get the test done, and if it turns out she is, then do what is right.

    Answer by older at 9:26 AM on Nov. 27, 2010

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