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2 Bumps

Anyone in this position or ever deal with such a thing?

When I found out I was finally pregnant after 3 years of trying, nobody was more excited for me than my grandma. She burst into tears for me because she knew just how hard my hubbie and I had been trying. Grandma told everyone she knows, including all the girls from her favorite bingo hall. She just couldn't wait to hold this baby.

Then, I found out my gram was admitted to the ICU, just as I reached my ninth month. Three days later early monring this Tuesday, she passed away. The whole thing has made me so upset and angry; she wanted nothing more than to hold my child and she was ripped from life and denied that chance. Here I am, about to welcome great joy into my life among the great sorrow I have for losing such a special person..Has anyone else dealt with such a rise and fall of emotion? I feel like I'm drowning. (Sorry for such a long winded tale..)

Answer Question
 
Anna-Chubaby

Asked by Anna-Chubaby at 12:54 AM on Nov. 27, 2010 in Pregnancy

Level 15 (2,104 Credits)
Answers (13)
  • I am so sorry for your loss. I believe she will still be there to guide her and watch over your baby.
    Momforhealth

    Answer by Momforhealth at 1:01 AM on Nov. 27, 2010

  • I don blame you for being so upset. I'm sure it broke her heart of go before meeting your child. Anger is a normal step in the process of grieving, so it's okay to feel that way. You will likely go through a lot of emotions (combined with pregnancy and imminent labor, it's especially hard). Whatever you're feeling is OKAY. Allow yourself to go through and express your emotions. Otherwise they'll haunt you for years, and your grand other would want you to enjoy being a mommy and getting to know this amazing little one who is joining your life. Is yoir SO supportive? Are you able to lean on him/her right now? They may be your rock while you deal with the thousands of emotions you must be going through. Again, it is OKAY to be angry right now. It is NORMAL. Eventually, you will be able to accept her passing, but it takes a long time to get there. Give yourself this time, and enjoy that new baby!!
    musicpisces

    Answer by musicpisces at 1:06 AM on Nov. 27, 2010

  • Even though shes gone physically she will be there when your baby is born and thoroughout that babys whole life. Im very sorry for your loss, your grnadma still loves that baby and thats never going to change. I hope you get through this and let your child know how special of a person she was and its a shame he or she never met her. All the best to you
    leksismommy

    Answer by leksismommy at 1:08 AM on Nov. 27, 2010

  • At least she had the joy of knowingb you were finally pregnant. I know that must be very hard. My heart goes out to you and your family.
    rebock

    Answer by rebock at 1:08 AM on Nov. 27, 2010

  • I had been in the same boat.I wanted my grand ma to hold my baby and caress him but she passed away when I were in my 7th week.I felt so terribly bad.but ultimately time heals all the wounds
    A11

    Answer by A11 at 1:21 AM on Nov. 27, 2010

  • aww, im so sorry for your loss. i had a similar death, although it was my grandfather. He had been diagnosed with cancer just a few days after i found out i was pregnant. He said he was going to survive until my baby was born. i had an extremely rough pregnancy and was in the hospital when he passed so i was not able to see him although i did talk to him on the phone. The last thing he told me is i was going to have a beautiful baby girl and she was going to look just like. even though we had not known the sex of the baby yet. He was right i have a 3 yr old daughter now and she is a mirror image of myself. I love him and miss him dearly and i tell my daughter everyday who he was and how much i love and miss him. it has been the hardest thing ive gone through but i will never forget him. Sorry for the long response.
    VERONICAS_MOM

    Answer by VERONICAS_MOM at 1:21 AM on Nov. 27, 2010

  • I totally understand. I lost my dad at 22 and my mom at 35. She never really got to see any of my kids grow up. But, I know my kids have angels watching over them and I know your grandma is going to be your baby's very special angel watching over him or her. God bless.
    twinkletoes0408

    Answer by twinkletoes0408 at 1:27 AM on Nov. 27, 2010

  • Oh. My goodness. That is really very sad.
    :-(
    I am soo so sorry!!

    Although she might not hold them, she will be with you always.
    doulala

    Answer by doulala at 3:16 AM on Nov. 27, 2010

  • Im sorry for your loss. I know exactly where you are coming from. My Grandma was very much the same as far as excitiement went for my first baby. She passed away two weeks before she was born. It was completely and totally unexpected. She died in her sleep from a blood clot. It broke my heart and hit me really hard. Actually the last time I saw her alive was at my baby shower. I have suffered from depression for years and then add that on top of it, and then PPD and I was a wreck after my dd was born. I still get so upset and so angry about it. I just still cant grasp why she had to die two weeks before she was born. I know everything happens for a reason, but I just cant seem to get over this one and its been 2 1/2 years now.
    Amanduhpanda

    Answer by Amanduhpanda at 8:06 AM on Nov. 27, 2010

  • I've lost some family members during this pregnancy and I have been a roller coaster of emotions. I'm so very sorry for your loss


    hugs

    ladyambition

    Answer by ladyambition at 8:17 AM on Nov. 27, 2010

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