I got a phone call yesterday from my 1st ex husband who I was married to for 13 yrs before we divorced. We had 4 kids together, and got married at a very young age because I was pregnant at the time and we as well as our parents thought that was the right thing to do.The reason we got divorced was because he said he wanted to be with my best friend instead of me and that the only reason he married me was because I was pregnant. They got married shortly after our divorce was final and have been together ever since.
Now I am a very forgiving type of person and I believe that you can still be friends with certain ones after a breakup.The 1st time I heard from him was 3 years ago when he called and asked me if I could give him some info about the kids so he could get in touch with them. I was very shocked to hear his voice again after so many years have passed. . We talked for a bit and got caught up to date with what was happening in each of our lives and then he asked me to contact the kids for him and see if they wanted to talk to him. So I did I got in touch with the kids and asked them all before I gave out any info to him out of respect for them.I emailed him the info so he could contact them himself instead of having to go through me and taking a chance that his wife would find out . (That was the last time I heard from him till yesterday.) He told me then he still thinks about me from time to time and wishes all the best for me just like I do him. I always ask how him and Kathy are doing and he says fine, but he dont want her to find out he has been in touch with me or there would be a big fight. She hates me and I dont know why it should be me that hates her for breaking up my marriage but I dont. I have forgivin her and let that be in the past.She still refusses to talk to me or have anything to do with me and would be furious if she knew he called from time to time.
Now to my question.... He called again yeaterday and mentioned in conversation that if we were still married it would be our 33 anniversery and he just wanted to touch base and make sure I was ok since we hadn't talked in 3 years.I assured him I was doing fine and thanked him for asking.I told him me and my SO are doing just fine and we just celebrated our 2 year together anniversary.( not married just together. this is my 4th relationship and been married 3 times and not ready to jump back in the fire... been burned to many times and leary of it right now) Our conversation was short because he was at work. Our conversation was very general nothing to be ashamed of. I just dont know if I should tell my SO since he is very jealous and says I shouldnt be speaking to other men especially if it's ones I use to be with. But yet he still speaks to his ex.that he was married to for 31 yrs. He says the only reason he does is because his granddaughter lives there with her and wants to keep in touch with her( she is 13 and has her own phone).He has even gone over there a few times that I know of with out me being with him because it has slipped in conversation.He had a reminder set on his old cell phone that he only uses for an alarm clock now for her birthday as well as their 31 anniversary and when it went off I seen it, but didnt say anything about it. I found out when I went out of town to help my daughter after she got out of the hospital that he called her everyday I was gone, but havent said anything about it either for fear of starting a big arguement. Should I tell him I talked to my ex or just keep it to my self???
Answer by Raine2001 at 10:51 PM on Nov. 27, 2010
I meant to also say, I don' t know why you and your SO aren't open about the communication your both having with the ex'es. That should be talked about because it could be a real problem down the road.
Answer by zbee at 8:20 AM on Nov. 27, 2010
Answer by samurai_chica at 9:15 AM on Nov. 27, 2010
Answer by Zoeyis at 8:03 AM on Nov. 27, 2010
Answer by LittleBirdFly at 8:13 AM on Nov. 27, 2010
Going by what you've said, it seems none of you are teenagers and your probably just catching up with each other, I see no harm in it as long as it doesn't go any further. I think it's good for the children if parents can get along, it's so much easier for them.
Answer by zbee at 8:15 AM on Nov. 27, 2010
Answer by NannyB. at 8:32 AM on Nov. 27, 2010
Answer by samurai_chica at 9:21 AM on Nov. 27, 2010
Answer by ShouldHaveLeft at 12:00 PM on Nov. 27, 2010
I wouldn't bother telling him. Your SO sounds like another real winner. NOT! Ok for him to talk, but not you. I'd tell him to piss off.
Answer by Shines3 at 12:54 PM on Nov. 27, 2010
Next question overall
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