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grandson acting out

My son-in-law announced last Christmas day (yes he actually did this on Christmas day) that their marriage was over. My daughter sat there stunned with tears rolling down her face, but all she would say is ""I'm 31 who will want me??" They both insisted their son didn't know what was going on, that he didnt know they were fighting because they sent him out of the room. I would laugh but they were serious.
It was Christmas and he had a roomful of new toys from Christmas and birthday, yet he asked to go home with me. Yea, he isn't affected by any of this.
Then in April my husband of 34 yr walked out on me. My daughter brought her son to spend the night a couple of days latee and he came in and ran to the back looking for granddad. He was very confused because no granddad, no computer and no TV. No one told him. They dumped hhim at my door and didn't tell hi,m. I was devestaed already and having to try to tell him without having a complete melt down was impossible.
He keeps acting out. He is rude and he hits. He is about to turn 5 and he stood in my livingroom and peeded himself when his mom didn't give him what he wanted. Her respnse was to yell and tell him that since he hadn't eaten he wouldn't get anything until the next day and she ate his dinner infront of him. Then she told him he had to ride home in pee clothes.
I had dry clothes for him but she insisted that since he did it on purpose that he would ride home in pee clothes. I grabbed dry clothes and took him to another room and told him to put them on. He shook his head and lookked scared. He told me :mama said no so I can't: I insisted and it made her mad. I even tolld her that was a buse.
I keep trying to tell both my SIL and daughtter that he needs couseling. My SIL sent me a text accusing e of abusing my kids. HUH???? Where the **** did that come from. I tell them he needs help and not only do they tell me he is fine, but accuse me of abuse. I have never laid a hand on him and I am confused about their whole attitude.
I know they don't want to admit that he has a problem because of them. Well too bad. He needs help. But they tell me that I will never see him again if I keep telling them he has a problem. If they keep him from me they keep him from the only person who understands he needs help and tries to talk to him. My grnadson and I will be punished if I try to help.
I have no idea what to do. I haven't seen enoughabusae to really call DSS.
I enjoy keeping my son,, but his mom is dumping him evey week instead of using her days with him (they have shared coustody. Every other day) So he is desperate to spend time with her. he is ating out to get her attention.
I keep asking her to stay and have a sleep ove with us, but she wants to go out and party. I'm begining to wonder if she wants her son. I have heard enough from the SIL to know he is ready to take full coustody and is just waiting for her to mess up enough.
I understand my daughter is confused and depressed, but she is really hurting eveyone.
I have no idea what to do. I fell helpless. My own situation is bad enough (he may have left but the abuse contines), but I'm being torn apart by what my grnadson is going through.
I feel as if I
ve lost my entire family. There is so much that happened this year. I am about to go under myslef and don't know how to keep it together. If they take him away from me too it wont help either of us.
I don't know that there is anything I can do. Rock and a hard place times 100.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:39 AM on Nov. 27, 2010 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Answers (6)
  • You do need to find help. A group or a counselor. You have to get yourself back together so that you can be strong for your daughter and grandson. Both you and your daughter are hanging by a string and if that string breaks where will your grandson be?
    tootoobusy

    Answer by tootoobusy at 8:57 AM on Nov. 27, 2010

  • I agree with above, PLEASE seek counseling. Getting yourself back together will be the best help for your family.
    MomIWant

    Answer by MomIWant at 10:05 AM on Nov. 27, 2010

  • My thoughts and prayers are with you and I agree with the others regarding the counseling.
    Peajewel

    Answer by Peajewel at 7:59 PM on Nov. 27, 2010

  • that is a tough situation, and sadly there isn't much you can do but try to provide a good safe and happy place for him when he is with you. no, not spoil him rotten, but make sure that he knows that he is loved andsafe when he iswith you.
    asil

    Answer by asil at 9:51 PM on Nov. 27, 2010

  • you ALL need counseling! Good luck
    Ashlynnsmommy07

    Answer by Ashlynnsmommy07 at 6:55 PM on Nov. 28, 2010

  • I was told that if I try to take the child to counseling that i would never see him again. Blackmail, but it ties my hands.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 4:57 PM on Nov. 29, 2010

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