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2 Bumps

is it possible to be a faithful wife knowing that Im bisexual??

Ive just got married a few months ago to the man Ive been with for 7 yrs. We are best friends and share every aspect of our lives together. Early on in the relationship, I told him about my bisexuality. Yes, it bother him @ first, but through me reassuring him that I "buried" that part of me. He began ok with knowing that part of my past. Well, up to date...I find myself masturbating and fantasing about an old female lover of mine. She is married too, in fact to an old friend of mines!..(long story)..Im trying to remain faithful. If the shoe was on the other foot, it will kill me to find out he was seeing another female. Deep down, I know I shouldnt use my sexuality as a reason to cheat. But Ive been bisexual, ALL my life...now, I really feel like I did bury of special part of me...help!!!!!!...ok for a lil clarification//my husband is not @ all interested in 3somes and neither am I. Ive been a some 3somes in my time and they are usually geared towards the man. But I enjoy the one on one sexual experience with a sexy woman. I really dont know how long I can hold out on my desires.

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chocolatedreadz

Asked by chocolatedreadz at 12:27 PM on Nov. 27, 2010 in Relationships

Level 2 (6 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • Your sexual orientation doesn't make you promiscuous. Just because you're bi doesn't give you license to cheat in a monogamous relationship. But it sounds like you know that, I would talk to him, ask if you could bring a woman into the bedroom. Tell him you love him and will not cheat on him, but part of who you are is a bisexual woman. Oh and just because you're bi doesn't mean that you have to have a relationship with a man and a woman.
    gypsymama532

    Answer by gypsymama532 at 12:33 PM on Nov. 27, 2010

  • I have debated about answering this because I think this is nothing but a "troll" question, but in case it isn't here is my advice. Being bi-sexual doesn't make you special. You chose to get married and be faithful to your husband. It is the same concept as if a "straight" woman gets married and starts to have feelings for an old flame. So, being bi-sexual has nothing to do with being able to be a good, faithful wife. If your urges are strong and you can't control them, then I suggest you seek counseling.

    JeremysMom

    Answer by JeremysMom at 12:35 PM on Nov. 27, 2010

  • Fantasy doesn't mean cheating. You don't have to bury anything. Just be you.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:37 PM on Nov. 27, 2010

  • Your sexual orientation doesn't make you promiscuous. Just because you're bi doesn't give you license to cheat in a monogamous relationship. <<<---- yeah, this!!!
    Crafty26

    Answer by Crafty26 at 12:40 PM on Nov. 27, 2010

  • I agree with the other posters, just because you are bisexual, it doesn't give you a license to cheat. You choose to be in a momgamous relationship, it needs to stay that way.
    Fantatsize away, that's not cheating, but do not cross a line from which you can't come back.
    layh41407

    Answer by layh41407 at 12:45 PM on Nov. 27, 2010

  • "I'm a grumpy old troll who lives under the bridge. If you
    wanna come over all you have to do is this all you have to
    do is this."-Grumpy old troll on dora the explorer
    Heidikans

    Answer by Heidikans at 12:49 PM on Nov. 27, 2010

  • Bisexual is what you are....it doesn't mean you have to cheat on your husband......You don't have to deny the feelings, but to be monogomous means to not act on any attraction to another person....does that make sense?
    Anna92464

    Answer by Anna92464 at 12:50 PM on Nov. 27, 2010

  • Please by all means don't take this the wrong way as though i'm coming about as being mean & cruel. This isn't my intention; but, in my opinion you probably should had never married & should've just continued being single  & bisexual. But since you are married i think what u probably should do is seek some counseling 2 see what can be done about this. I know you don't want 2 hurt your husband in any way shape form or fashion.

    NubianQueen78

    Answer by NubianQueen78 at 2:05 PM on Nov. 27, 2010

  • A commitment is a commitment, regardless of a person's orientation. PERIOD. There is really NO reason, & I find it to be very unhealthy to 'bury' any part of who you are. Your DH should accept you, for you. It really doesn't matter how much yoiu are longing for something, you owe it to your husband to remain faithful or leave if you are not happy in this relationship. When we commit we close the doors to the other things & people we find attractive, being bi doesn't change that.

    Maybe if you stopped 'burrying' part of yourself, it wouldn't continue to have such a powerful pull. Be who you are, secrecy & shame (I believe it's shame if you have to hide part of who you are) are probably what are causing this. Good luck!

    DON'T CHEAT!
    BubbaLuva

    Answer by BubbaLuva at 3:25 PM on Nov. 27, 2010

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