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Some Problems with the in laws....

I am 29wks preggo... this is my parents first grandbaby and my inlaws 2nd. My mother in law is CONSTANTLY buying things (very very grateful) but my mom hasn't been able to buy any of the big things such as: Crib, high chair, carseat, stroller, dresser, pack n play. My mom is feeling very left out and I am kinda feeling like she has been left out. I want to say something but don't want to hurt feelings. Also my mother in law is pushing to be in the delivery room... I am sorry but I feel like my mom and my husband should be the only two in there. She didn't give birth to me and I don't want her seeing my stuff. Am I being wrong for the way that I am feeling?? How can I involve my mom more?? She already goes to every appt with me. I just want my mom to be more involved than she is "being allowed". If I don't stop my mother in law now will it cause problems for the rest of our lives??

Thanks

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:38 AM on Nov. 5, 2008 in Pregnancy

Answers (5)
  • You don't have to tell your MIL when your dr. appts are- you shouldn't feel obligated to have her there (at an apt. or in the delivery room). Maybe try to schedule a day where you and your mother ONLY go out to lunch, walk around baby stores and put together baby gift registries. I would imagine that your mother would buy a cute outfit or two (or toys, etc....)
    You need to be frank with your MIL. tell her how you're feeling. Let her know that you want to get some things for your first child and, that although you appreciate how much she is willing to help out, you need your space to enjoy this special time in your lives.
    If she gets offended, stick to your guns and blame any and all bitchiness on your pregnancy hormones:)
    bloomsr

    Answer by bloomsr at 11:52 AM on Nov. 5, 2008

  • My MIL was very much like yours. I had my DH sit down with me and her and we all had a very long talk. We were very sweet to her and she understood and didn't relize she was being pushy! Maybe she doesn't relize she is stepping in her toes. Just sit down with your Dh and talk to her.
    Good Luck
    Beccah2

    Answer by Beccah2 at 11:54 AM on Nov. 5, 2008

  • See I have talked to her and my hubby both... So she is aware of what she is doing. I am almost to the point of telling her to STOP in a not so nice way but like I said I don't want to hurt feelings , I am grateful, but at the sametime feel like Im being taken over ... prob doesn't make any sense
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:58 AM on Nov. 5, 2008

  • Just remeber it is your baby not hers! If you have to be "NOT SO NICE" then that may be what it takes to get it through her thick brain!
    Just have your mom do everything with you and go everywhere with you to include her more often I hope this advice helps I really do. I hate overbarring MIL they drive me crazy!!!!!
    Beccah2

    Answer by Beccah2 at 12:01 PM on Nov. 5, 2008

  • i'm not sure where your parents live, but if they are close, your mom will really find it special if you ask for to be around after the baby is born. Also, if she is around, your mom could be the one to organize/throw your baby shower.
    charisma10

    Answer by charisma10 at 1:24 PM on Nov. 5, 2008

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