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Some Problems with the in laws....

I am 29wks preggo... this is my parents first grandbaby and my inlaws 2nd. My mother in law is CONSTANTLY buying things (very very grateful) but my mom hasn't been able to buy any of the big things such as: Crib, high chair, carseat, stroller, dresser, pack n play. My mom is feeling very left out and I am kinda feeling like she has been left out. I want to say something but don't want to hurt feelings. Also my mother in law is pushing to be in the delivery room... I am sorry but I feel like my mom and my husband should be the only two in there. She didn't give birth to me and I don't want her seeing my stuff. Am I being wrong for the way that I am feeling?? How can I involve my mom more?? She already goes to every appt with me. I just want my mom to be more involved than she is "being allowed". If I don't stop my mother in law now will it cause problems for the rest of our lives??

Thanks

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:40 AM on Nov. 5, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • I have and still am going through the same thing! I know exactly how you feel. I am not sure if it will get any better, but just let your mom know how grateful you are of her and try to include her in on everything with the baby. That might help a little. Wish you the best of luck!!!
    ProudMommie87

    Answer by ProudMommie87 at 11:47 AM on Nov. 5, 2008

  • I'm so sorry. Now with the MIL being in the delivery room, it's your choice and that has to be respected. Maybe ask your MIL to stop buying things for the moment because you have other family and friends who want to share in the gift giving. I really don't know what else to say. BTW, only person I had in the delivery room was my hubby. I was to shy to have anyone else in there even my mother, lol.

    Christinemg0813

    Answer by Christinemg0813 at 11:47 AM on Nov. 5, 2008

  • My mother is an RN and works in the Nursery/ Labor and Delivery ward at the hospital where I am having the baby. Mom is going to be in there to "watch" how everything is done. LOL
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:56 AM on Nov. 5, 2008

  • I think you have your husband sit her down and have a talk . Tell her how much you appreciate all the things she's done. Explain to her that your Mom wants to "do" things too. If she gets pissy..so be it. If YOU approach her alone..bad news. If you do it together with HIM speaking primarily would be best.
    GrnEyedGrandma

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 12:08 PM on Nov. 5, 2008

  • when you mil goes to buy something or tells you she bought something tell her your mother has already bought it or is buying it! try to talk to her about it and im sure she will understand!!i had the same problem!!and tell you mil that you do appreciate her and everything she has done but you really want you mother in a time like that!my mil was the exact same way and i had to say something before she understood!!chances are she will completely understand but you have to speak up!!she prolly doesnt even realize she is doing it!!
    mommydabbs

    Answer by mommydabbs at 12:30 PM on Nov. 5, 2008

  • She sounds like a pushy MIL, you might have to "show out" like I have in the past, that definately makes them back off!!
    sydsmom2

    Answer by sydsmom2 at 12:43 PM on Nov. 5, 2008

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