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2 Bumps

I think my husband stole money out of my purse....

My husband is a good man except when it comes to money.... he has always been a jerk when it comes to it and has always lied about how much money we have or dont have... he is just like his dad....

I am a stay at home mom and he takes care of all the bills and everything.... and besides the money thing he is a great husband and dad and i guess that is why I have stuck around so long...

But now I dont know what to think because it has come to this...

He lost his job in August... he filled out the unemployment papers wrong ( he accidently put the wrong date on something and then his old employers tried to fight it) so he is like on "probation period" and he cant get unemployment until Jan 1st....

We had about $1000 saved up for Christmas... and we have used that to live on , it was hard to do that but obviously the right thing to do...

My grandma and grandpa gave us money to get the kids christmas presents ( they usually give us $300 as a present but this year gave us $400 and said to use it now for presents... so we were happy that we could still have a christmas for them...

Well I kept the money in my purse and my husband said he needed $40 of it because he had to go to CVS for something and seen this toy he wanted to get for them as a present... well then a few days later he needed another $20 to get a prescription... that is ok... but then he asks me " i thought you said you had around $370 left..." I said i did but when I looked there was only $210 .... I could tell by the way he was acting he had to of taken it and was trying to act stupid about it.... there is not any other way that much could be gone but not the rest ( a 100 bill and small bills were taken but left two 100's and a $10 was left) ...

After he lost his job I started babysitting and one day I got payed when we were standing outside I KNOW I gave it to him but he said I never and acted the same way he is now accusing me of misplacing it, but then I even had a friend who was there and said she seen me give it to him....

I am so hurt that he would do this to the kids ! ... that was for THEM ......... and not only that but trying to blame me for it ....

What would you do?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 1:52 PM on Nov. 27, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (13)
  • Well, first off. You are married. It's not stealing. Second, if you don't want him to take the money, or be tempted to use it for other stuff, why don't you put it somewhere less obvious, rather than your purse.

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 1:55 PM on Nov. 27, 2010

  • Here I go...playing devils advocate again...r u sure he doesn't have a drug or gambling problem? Is he acting weird in any other way that might lead you to believe that he's cheating cuz he may be stocking up to get HER a Christmas present?

    LADIES PLEASE DON'T ATTACK ME! These are all valid stupid reasons why a normally sane man would steal from his family.

    Answer by ShouldHaveLeft at 1:56 PM on Nov. 27, 2010

  • well he knows I have it ... and i keep it in my purse so when i leave I can use it if I seen something I would want to buy for them...

    it technically wasnt our money it is from my grandparents to use ONLY for christmas...

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 1:57 PM on Nov. 27, 2010

  • Unless that money is for bills, then he has a right to the money.

    Answer by TawnyMarlow at 1:57 PM on Nov. 27, 2010

  • shouldhaveleft... I wont attack you I expected someone to ask that lol

    But I definatly know he doesnt have any of those problems... I mean it would make sense if he did and I wouldnt be racking my brain trying to figure out why he takes it.... but he has always "hid" money and I think he just keeps it so he will never be out ...... he always says we dont have money but then if he sees something he wants he is able to buy it....

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 1:58 PM on Nov. 27, 2010

  • I wouldn't jump the gun as to gambling. $40 then $20 at different times, is kind low stakes. He is probably grabbing it for gas, this and that, and not realizing how quick it goes. My hubby does that.

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 1:59 PM on Nov. 27, 2010

  • First I would confront him on it and tell him you KNOW he took it and say "You dare you?" ! I'd also take what is left and get whatever shopping done you can....and I'd make him apply at every retail store and restuarant ASAP

    Answer by Mom2Jack04 at 2:00 PM on Nov. 27, 2010

  • I hear you and I'm glad to hear it's not one of the options I posted. With that said...him never being out is all good and fine IF you have the money to spare. But having your kids do without for Christmas after the grandparents saved the day for them just so he won't be selfish.

    Answer by ShouldHaveLeft at 2:00 PM on Nov. 27, 2010

  • I know shouldhaveleft.... that is why I am upset after all these years I think i have gotten use to his regular "hiding money" because I mean he was the only one working then and all the bills were paid and it was just ok I guess...

    but this time is like a whole 'nother can of selfishness that I just dont think I can get over...

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 2:03 PM on Nov. 27, 2010

  • Go out Christmas shopping together, spend the money that's left to buy the gifts for the kids, that way you'll both be together, it can stay in your purse until it's time to pay, and at the end of the day you've spent it all.

    As for the accusations he's placing on you, I'd talk to him and tell him that you're feeling a little put off by it, that you're doing all you can to help out babysitting and that you're a team, the accusations aren't helping anyone. It does sound very strange that he's taking the money out and then blaming you for losing it, and I'd be concerned.

    Answer by amybaby_19 at 2:03 PM on Nov. 27, 2010

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