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2 Bumps

Bad relationship

I'm in my second marriage. I married this man about 10 yrs ago. He had two children he brought into the relationship and I had two as well. I was the best step mother I could be to his kids. Well their bio Mom wanted little to do with them for 5 yrs, then she met a guy and became mommy of the damn year! amazing the transformation. His kids now treat me like the wicked step mom, his oldest daughter is now 15 yrs old, she has no problem calling me a B*tch and plenty of other names. My DH is like ignore her. There is no discipline with these kids. The bio Mom thinks its cute.
My Dh is one of the most miserable humans to walk this earth, he turns every holiday into a day I dread. I'm on disability so I don't get much money. DH makes ok money, but we stay in debt! His ex wife took the house and since his name was on the house too! our credit sucks, because the house was foreclosed on. because the ex said she couldn't afford it, but didn't want him to have it! In which none of this makes any sense to me! I'm drowning myself in cookies and pound cake and if I get any fatter I'm going to explode! I'm simply miserable and I can't or don't know how to get out of this mess!!! I'm sorry, I'm venting and its the holidays, which is another reminder of how miserable things are! I bought a Christmas Tree last year in hopes of trying to make things better and Dh literally tossed it out the door. I just don't have a clue in what to do. The only family I have are my children.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:10 PM on Nov. 27, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (3)
  • I recently read an interesting piece of research, where texts (letters, etc.) of people who killed themselves were compared to happy people and the glaring, amazing difference between the two was the use of personal pronouns. Suicidal people talk almost exclusively about me, I, mine, my... while happy people say 'we, us, our, ours' about 20 times as much.

    While you're looking around your life for someone/thing to blame for your misery, perhaps you could look instead for something of value to do? Do you volunteer? Make cookies for elderly neighbours? Shovel other people's snow? Help the struggling young mom with her dishes or dusting?

    When you live your life from 'what I'm not getting' you have a very, very different perspective than when you are giving all you can to everyone you can reach.

    As Terry Pratchett quips in one scene of a Discworld novel:

    'It could be worse.'

    'How?'

    'There could be snakes in here
    LindaClement

    Answer by LindaClement at 2:36 PM on Nov. 27, 2010

  • take your kids and leave
    gottalovemal

    Answer by gottalovemal at 2:37 PM on Nov. 27, 2010

  • I think you should take your kids and give you and them a break. Do something with them that makes you all happy. Be somewhere where you can have peace of mind,not all this mental drama. Even if you go back, give some happiness to you and your children for a change.
    mrs2323

    Answer by mrs2323 at 12:06 AM on Nov. 28, 2010

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