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Not a single butterfly left.....just UGH!!!!

Okay I know once you have been with someone a long time the whole butterfly feeling seems to subside, but really I don't even have any of those moments anymore where I get that tinge of excitment for my husband and that worries me. In fact I am actually to the point where I am like UGH (for lack of a better word). I just have absolutely no excitement for anything about him. I don't know if that means that if am just beyond comfortable with him or if something is missing now. I tend to think something is missing now because of events over the last year or so. We have been together for about 13 yrs now, and I have never been this outta sync except for this last year. Am I just missing the butterflies or should I consider moving on?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 4:00 PM on Nov. 27, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (5)
  • Hey, I have been with mine for 38 years and the butterflies are still there!!! I think you should re examine how you feel altogether....

    Answer by older at 4:04 PM on Nov. 27, 2010

  • Wow. Really? That's sad.

    And fixable.

    Get a pretty notebook or journal that makes you think of love when you see it. Every day for the next month, spaced out on a page with 3 or 4 lines between them, write down 4 things you appreciate about your husband (who he is right now, what he does for you, how he is toward people you respect, etc.). Next, under each thing write three specific ways you appreciate it --actual concrete things about those things that he does or says.

    Let me know if you still feel the same in a month.

    Where you direct your thinking, you experience your life.

    Answer by LindaClement at 4:07 PM on Nov. 27, 2010

  • I would suggest counseling. I don't believe this is something worth throwing a 13 year marriage away over.

    Answer by hobbitswife04 at 5:10 PM on Nov. 27, 2010

  • No, you don't "just move on." I mean, was that part of your wedding vows? Or did they include something along the line of "good times and bad" and "until death do us part?" It sounds like you're bored. So, instead of quitting the marriage do something to spice things up. I hear of way too many marriages that end "because we grew apart." That can't happen unless it's allowed to happen. Same with affairs. And if you don't do something quick to rekindle your love life with your husband, you'll find yourself "kindling" with someone else.

    Good luck. You can do it!

    Answer by DivaDynamite at 5:15 PM on Nov. 27, 2010

  • we have not been married for 13 years, we have been together for 13 years. There is a lot that leads to why I feel this way but I just wonder if there is more merit to it I guess.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 8:00 PM on Nov. 27, 2010

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