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9 Bumps

My mother in law wont let me back to her house until I decide to breastfeed

I have always gotten along with my mother in law... I mean at first she wasnt to happy because my husband and I "ran off" to get married after only being together for a few months... but that was 5 years ago .... and now I am pregnant with our 3rd baby.

So this is my 3rd baby and i decided that I am not going to breastfeed... with my first my milk never came in , and my second i tried but I just couldnt do it and I just didnt like it.... both of them were formula fed and has never had any medical problems... my husband is ok with it too...

my mother in law however is not OK with it.... she said I am not aloud back in her house until I decide that i am going to breastfeed the baby....Of course my husband said fine and we left ( we were there for a visit when she said it ) ... and my husband is mad with his mom but isnt really that upset and just says she will get over it...... but it makes me so upset that she would say that to me.... especially now during the holidays ..... what would you do !?!?!

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 4:28 PM on Nov. 27, 2010 in Parenting Debate

Answers (40)
  • Good Hell.
    I am a breastfeeding advocate, but that is not her place to say at all. Just say she won't get to see her grandbaby then.

    Answer by Jambo4 at 4:30 PM on Nov. 27, 2010

  • He's right, she'll get over it. She just tried a power-play in an area over which she has no power. Do nothing. Let her come to you. And when she does, be accepting. Life is too short to hold a grudge.

    Answer by aliceinalgonac at 4:30 PM on Nov. 27, 2010

  • That is unbelievable. I am all for breastfeeding babies, but I cannot believe that she would try to control you this way. I hope your husband stands up for you, because when it comes down to it, it is HIS responsibility to do so, since this is HIS mother.

    Answer by KTMOM at 4:32 PM on Nov. 27, 2010

  • be happy for one that your husband is on your side with this... but really it's not your child to care for it's yours and your husbands so it's your chose and in the end it's her getting kick in the butt for it... she is the one missing out in there lives trust me no you in her's, but coming down to the holidays and that's how she is going to be well that's just selfish and crul.... beastfeeding is a choice and it doesn't make you a good or bad parent... as long as your child is healthy.

    Answer by Lynnsae at 4:33 PM on Nov. 27, 2010

  • I am all for breast feeding. I really am. It sounds to me like you have tried it already and made your choice. Key words here 'your choice' lol. She is going to have to get over it if she ever plans on seeing this new baby...

    Answer by But_Mommie at 4:33 PM on Nov. 27, 2010

  • I couldn't stand breastfeeding. I did it with my son and he came out with allergies and asthma. My daughter was bottle fed from the start and she was always healthy as a horse. Now, with that said, your husband is right, she'll get over it but even if she doesn't, it's your baby and what you do or don't decide to do with it, is a decision made only by you and your husband.

    Answer by ShouldHaveLeft at 4:33 PM on Nov. 27, 2010

  • Call her bluff... Tell her fine. You are a grown woman that WILL not breastfeed, she can either accept it or you will be glad never to return to her house..

    Answer by midnightmoma at 4:34 PM on Nov. 27, 2010

  • 'Mom, you know what I have made my decision BUT if you would like to lactate and feed the baby from your breast you are more than welcome to. Just let me know what you decide ok?'

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:34 PM on Nov. 27, 2010

  • Oh well, guess she doesn't get to see the baby then. Her loss. Teach her right for not minding her own effing business!

    Answer by CarriePM at 4:38 PM on Nov. 27, 2010

  • I do agree with mil that you should always try to breastfeed your baby before going to the formula. However, I don't agree with giving you an ultimatum like that. It is really a personal decision between baby, husband and you. She doesn't have the right to force you to do anything in terms of parenting with your child. Her parenting time is done and maybe her son needs to remind her of that fact. Sorry mil, like it or not, it is your choice now and she needs to accept that.

    Now, if she is really concerned because she wants to be sure her grandchild might experience the benefits from breastfeeding like reduced risks of ear infections, or allergies, just as examples, then she should be able to express those concerns to you in a nice, polite adult discussion...if you are open to that of course. But statements like banning you from the house are just immature and will accomplish nothing.

    Answer by spottedpony at 4:38 PM on Nov. 27, 2010

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