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What would you do?

About a year ago I opened an acct. With Facebook but never really told my dh bc he was totally against it he thinks it a place to go and meet people which he is correct but he thinks it could lead to other thing which he is correct somehow today he was on my cell and noticed someone send me a message from FB he assumed it was his dd I felt at that time the day was going so good I decided to come clean about this fb omg he got so upset :(
I explained to him how I was using it I only get on it just to check it out with my family but never talk to them I basically just read their stuff or look at their pics but never let no one no I had a fb. he had 2 work 2nite he left alittle calmer he gave me a peck and left but I feel so bad he makes me feel like I did something really bad he says I am weak and that if a guy was to make a move that I would probably go for it bc I do't no how to stand for myself...yes I am quiet and if that was to ever happen I would have to tell him I am happily married but my dh don't think I would it hurts my feelings I never gave him a reason to not trust me other that I don't have a backbone. I just feel sad. I don't want to go anywhere I love him so much but he is such a jealous guy he's had 2 past bad experiences I tell 2 stop comparing them 2 me. What can I do to get through other than to live by his rules. I do defend myself to him and I do not let him push me around so he knows. But I am tired of this.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:06 PM on Nov. 27, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (5)
  • If the reason for him not trusting you is that you don't have a backbone, then show your backbone and stand up to him and keep your page. Let him know that you're happy in your relationship with him. Sit him down and show him some of the family pics you look at. Turning it into something you do TOGETHER may take some of the edge off of his distaste for you having a facebook page.
    meganbearden

    Answer by meganbearden at 6:12 PM on Nov. 27, 2010

  • meganbearden said it perfectly. he's not going to trust you if you continue to do things behind his back. her method of handling this is just great.
    missingruth

    Answer by missingruth at 6:15 PM on Nov. 27, 2010

  • i think he has not completely healed from those 'past bad experiences' just be totally honest with him and give him lots of reassurance.
    maya123

    Answer by maya123 at 7:27 PM on Nov. 27, 2010

  • Oohhh, living by his rules shows him you have no backbone. Giving in to him all the time does, too. He's telling you that you are weak, and what ever else he tells you so that he can cut you down, make you weak. Stand up for yourself. If you have to, give him access to the damn FB account. But keep it. Stand up for yourself, and tell him to be a man, and treat you like a woman. He should treat you like his wife, his equal. Not his servant. Not his underling. He should be building you up. He's trying to control you, and being controlling may very well be why his past relationships got mucked up. Tell him to stop being controlling. But also, don't do things behind his back. Be upfront. You are his wife, but you are still your own person!
    Raine2001

    Answer by Raine2001 at 10:18 PM on Nov. 27, 2010

  • he's prob more mad that u did it without telling him, rather than you having one! I don't see the big deal about having a FB tell him if it makes him feel more comfortable he can have your password! and check it any time he would like! I love FB and couldn't live w/o it lol
    patsymay84

    Answer by patsymay84 at 10:48 PM on Nov. 27, 2010

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