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3 Bumps

Spoiled Rotten?

My mom takes my daughter (6 yrs old) for a girls' day out once a month. They shop, get mani-pedi and go to lunch. They talk and laugh and my daughter updates my mom on all the family business (LOL) Last time they went to the salon a stranger told my mother she was spoiling /ruining my daughter (my daughter is very well behaved and on the shy side, granny or mommy did not raise a diva) the salon manager intervened and told the strange woman to mind her own business. Spoiled Rotten?

 
mrsljamieson

Asked by mrsljamieson at 8:58 PM on Nov. 27, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 19 (6,686 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (31)
  • I agree with the posters who said it makes those things less special and makes the child think that she's entitled to have those things when she wants them as opposed to having them be a special experience of growing up.

    BUT you fail to see that she is NOT feeling entitles to these things when ever she wants them. She IS having a special moment growing up. Her grandmother is not always going to be around and when she is getting her nails done for her prom or her wedding who do you think will be on her mind. VERY special indeed.

    OP how would your DD react if G-ma offered a movie instead one week? Kick and scream or be happy to go on her 'date'
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:43 PM on Nov. 27, 2010

  • Well, I can certainly see where that person was coming from. I don't find any of those activities appropriate for a 6 year old child and yes, I believe that it's really setting her up to feel that she is entitled to a lifetime of getting what she wants regardless of if it's developmentally appropriate. I wouldn't have my 6 year old in a salon. The shopping, sure, a little. And of course lunch with Grandma would be wonderful. But the rest? Yes, it is excessive.
    But even if it is excessive, it wasn't that woman's place to step in and say anything, even if she is right. I'm glad the manager intervened.
    aliceinalgonac

    Answer by aliceinalgonac at 9:04 PM on Nov. 27, 2010

  • Good for Alice for speaking up. Too many here just want their own opinions rubber-stamped. Alice wasn't rude or disrespectful, she simply stated an opinion - one that included support in that the woman should have kept her mouth shut.

    I do think it's wrong to give a child all of those things at such an early age. It strips the specialness out of them and out of growing up. Some things should remain "rites of passage", things attained when we reach a certain age, or accomplish a certain maturity.

    and 6 IS too young.
    missingruth

    Answer by missingruth at 9:14 PM on Nov. 27, 2010

  • I think 6 is too young also.
    Gaccck

    Answer by Gaccck at 9:10 PM on Nov. 27, 2010

  • I completely agree with aliceinalgonac and missingruth, both of who respectfully stated their opinions as requested and were voted down by some immature fool who can't handle the fact that not everyone agrees with them. The question posted was "spoiled rotten?" and my response? yes, very likely.
    findingharmony

    Answer by findingharmony at 9:19 PM on Nov. 27, 2010

  • My daughters are children. They do not need to paint themselves like adults. They can be children a little while longer. There is no need to steer them from childlike activities toward adult activities.
    errantmommy

    Answer by errantmommy at 9:16 PM on Nov. 27, 2010

  • I would never allow my 6 year old to go to a spa for a mani-pedi. Too young. And look which side is the ONLY side giving anyone down votes. I'm pretty disgusted by it myself.
    yoliplus6

    Answer by yoliplus6 at 9:22 PM on Nov. 27, 2010

  • LMAO at "don't know how to keep their opinions to themselves"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The original poster ASKED for opinions by posting. Uh, duh.
    And I too fall into the camp of "too young. I like the way missingruth said it - it can become less special. There won't be anything exciting or special or magical or wonderful about a spa day to prepare for a wonderful occasion like a prom or a wedding. It will merely be something that's been done since early childhood.
    jinxandjoy

    Answer by jinxandjoy at 9:26 PM on Nov. 27, 2010

  • Lunches with grandma is a special thing, something she will remember forever.
    The manicure and pedicure? I think she's too young.
    ihatetocook

    Answer by ihatetocook at 9:31 PM on Nov. 27, 2010

  • Yes, I do believe that it's simple to see that it's all linked, as many responding have explained. I agree with the posters who said it makes those things less special and makes the child think that she's entitled to have those things when she wants them as opposed to having them be a special experience of growing up. It's sad you can't understand that concept, Anon. So yes, I do believe that, because the mani-pedi is very age inappropriate that it does lead to a child becoming very spoiled and entitled. Funny how some people fail to see the connections between things.
    snivic

    Answer by snivic at 9:37 PM on Nov. 27, 2010

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