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2 Bumps

Big disagreement!!!

I am currently pregnant with my second daughter. I am 10000% positive that I want no more kids. I really want to get my tubes tied after this one. As much as I love my daughter and being a mother, I dont want a litter of kids. I am alergic to latex so no condoms. Im alergic to the artificial hormones in bc pills. I cant use an IUD because Ive had a tubular pregnancy. He doesnt want me to do it because hes not sure if he wants anymore kids or not. I feel like its me thats gotta push out an 8 pound baby out of my vagina not him. And I know I dont want to anymore. I know that motherhood is the greatest thing on earth and blah blah blah. But I just dont want to. Is it selfish of me to want to get my tubes tied??

Answer Question
 
leksismommy

Asked by leksismommy at 9:38 PM on Nov. 27, 2010 in Relationships

Level 25 (22,485 Credits)
Answers (19)
  • No, it's not. But it's a decision best made by both of you. He needs to hear you out, and he needs to understand there's more to it then 'I want another baby'. KWIM? You are right, you are the one that has to carry the baby, and deliver it. But, the *want* of wanting a baby is pretty strong. Maybe just try talking more about it, calmly.
    Raine2001

    Answer by Raine2001 at 9:42 PM on Nov. 27, 2010

  • Heavens no!!! You guys should discuss it more though.
    melk819

    Answer by melk819 at 9:43 PM on Nov. 27, 2010

  • No it isn't selfish to want that, but I think you do need to take his feelings into consideration too. It is definitely something that both of you need to agree on before you go forward with that.
    spottedpony

    Answer by spottedpony at 9:43 PM on Nov. 27, 2010

  • I don't think its selfish at all. If you think about it the mother does most of the raising and such and at times it can get tiring.
    sweetpea1217

    Answer by sweetpea1217 at 9:43 PM on Nov. 27, 2010

  • No your not selfish to want that but I have had 4 kids and got a tubal after my last one cause I didnt want another kid with anoother idiiot(first 3 with my ex husband and my last with ex BF)but now i am with a wonderful man who i have fallen in love with and regret doing it but thats just me so make sure you think about this long and hard you may (or may not) have regrets later best of luck
    becky_barber84

    Answer by becky_barber84 at 9:44 PM on Nov. 27, 2010

  • What you do with your body is your decision. But also, your family is yours and your hubby's decision. So that's a tough one. Just hope you don't do anything you may regret later or something that may make your DH resent you. Isn't there any middle ground you two could meet at?
    Ctink8189

    Answer by Ctink8189 at 9:44 PM on Nov. 27, 2010

  • Not in the least. I too have l;atex allergy, allergic to the hormones, allergic to anti spermicidals but they wouldn't tie my tubes because I had PCOS. Thank Heavens my husband was willing to do the vasectomy. It is your body, your choice. It would be nice if he could agree but when all is said and done...make the decision YOU can live with.
    GrnEyedGrandma

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 9:44 PM on Nov. 27, 2010

  • Who knows what time will do to your way of thinking. Have you tried birth control pills? I would make an agreement with him that if you use bc for 3yr... 5yrs... whatever and you still do not want to have any more kids then get the tubes tied. Compromise!
    fireeyes81

    Answer by fireeyes81 at 9:45 PM on Nov. 27, 2010

  • Oh, I missed the allergic to hormones thing. That's a tough one. What about an IUD. I think the 10 yr one is hormone free but i could be mistaken.
    fireeyes81

    Answer by fireeyes81 at 9:46 PM on Nov. 27, 2010

  • They make non-latex condoms.
    TawnyMarlow

    Answer by TawnyMarlow at 9:47 PM on Nov. 27, 2010

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