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How to teach gratitude to an eleven year old?

She called me cheap tonight, as I explained to her that eating out is expensive. I had made a really gorgeous dinner.

Evidently she also called my sister cheap while they were out once.

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Asked by lovinangels at 12:11 AM on Nov. 28, 2010 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 39 (112,638 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • Simple, make her work for something that she REALLY wants!!!!!!!!! I know this is tough because of the holidays but if there is even the simplest littlest thing that she has requested (I would make her work for it in some way). Household chores, keeping an eye on the littler ones(if she has younger siblings) while u r around because she is way too young to have that responsibility for any real amount of time all by herself. Or if she receives a cool toy or something for xmas that needs assembly, have her help with that and make a big deal out of how cool it was that she helped assemble her own toy.

    Answer by truthteller0722 at 12:18 AM on Nov. 28, 2010

  • The only way for any person (regardless of age) to realize gratitude or worth is to have them work for it, sweat it out!!

    Answer by truthteller0722 at 12:21 AM on Nov. 28, 2010

  • Stop giving her stuff. I would never tolerate my child talking back like that. Until she learns her lesson, she can work for whatever she needs/wants. Also, I would suggest taking her to a shelter or soup kitchen so she can learn how blessed she is.

    Answer by TaraK. at 12:28 AM on Nov. 28, 2010

  • My son is the same way, he is 17. You tell him to get something off the dollar menu, or get a pair of jeans from the dollar general store, he has a fit and doesn't want it. He wants the name brand. He acts as if he is too good for cheap stuff. When you are on a budget you have to do what you have to do. You could take her to a homeless shelter and help out for a few hours. Let her see how they live, and then ask her what she is thankful for.

    Answer by amessageofhope at 12:56 AM on Nov. 28, 2010

  • My oldest dd did that at 12yrs old - she's 14 now. I do NOT tolerate that one bit and I told her that if she didn't change her attitude herself, I would be happy to help her. Well, she didn't change her attitude and one day she came home from school to find that her bedroom had been stripped of EVERYTHING! She had her bed 2 changes of clothes: basic clothes socks, underwear off brand blue jeans and white t shirts. She had no free time. She did homework and then chores. Was given 20 minutes to eat meals. She had to earn everything: sheets, pillow, etc. Did homework or chores until lights out at 9pm. It took her 2 weeks. She's stubborn! But it changed her totally and now she is the sweetest most helpful and grateful teenager!!

    Answer by Babylove76 at 7:05 AM on Nov. 28, 2010

  • First, point out that YOU DONT ALWAYS GET WHAT YOU WANT. Just because you pass McDonalds...doesnt mean your going to GET McDonalds. Just because you "want" a new pair of jeans...doesnt mean you "NEED" a new pair or that youre going to GET a new pair! I think back & I know that most of you can parents rarely BOUGHT me things. I didnt get something until I needed it or until my Birthday or Christmas or I bought it myself. My mother would have laughed in my face if I had told her that I HAD TO HAVE the newest pair of $60 shoes. I think she needs a good reality check! She NEEDS to stop talking to you & other people like that (its disrespectful!) CONSEQUENCES if she doesnt! Its up to you to raise your child, right? I think us parents are WAY to easy on our kids..then we wonder why they are the way they are! Shes not too old to learn the value of a dollar...make her work for it and she will LEARN!!!! GOOD LUCK!!!

    Answer by aboutmygirls at 5:24 AM on Nov. 29, 2010

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