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Baby's dad just skipped town because he wants to start over

My ex (baby's dad) just jump a flight to Maryland. He has a 2 year old son from a previous relationship, and then our daughter who is due mid Jan. He didn't say a single thing to me or the other mother, I had to find out from a facebook post. I am so lost for words. And I am feeling a mix of rage and hurt. Is there anyone else who can relate, or somewhat relate to this crappy situation? I need advice.

Answer Question

Asked by Emmalynns_Mommy at 12:19 AM on Nov. 28, 2010 in Relationships

Level 7 (168 Credits)
Answers (15)
  • let him go , its his loss not yours . Your daughter will grow up with you the loving parent and thats all that matters , im speaking from the exact experience . when you look at your baby nothing else will matter but you and her xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx i promise .

    Answer by maymummy at 12:21 AM on Nov. 28, 2010

  • I love her more than anything, and it hurts to know he doesn't feel the same way about our daughter. It feels like she isn't good enough for him, and that makes me hate him. I just don't understand why or even how he could do that.

    Comment by Emmalynns_Mommy (original poster) at 12:23 AM on Nov. 28, 2010

  • Sounds like a real stand-up guy. Maybe it is for the best that he left now, instead of after your daughter is already attached to him. He doesn't sound like father or husband material, so maybe it is a blessing in disguise, if you know what I mean. Anyone who leaves his pregnant wife and baby has serious issues and has no business being a father anyway. Good riddance. I hope you can find it in yourself to move on, if not for your sake, then for your daughter's. Be strong, you can do this.

    Answer by CarriePM at 12:23 AM on Nov. 28, 2010

  • Him and I have been separated (never married him) for about 4 months. I thought him and I would be able to be civil for Emmalynn's sake, but then he just ditched her. I know it shows his true character, but in the same sense I don't want her to not have a father. I never wanted any of this for her.

    Comment by Emmalynns_Mommy (original poster) at 12:26 AM on Nov. 28, 2010

  • I'm really sorry to hear you're gong through this. But I agree with the above posters that it's best that it happened now, before your daughter was really hurt by it. Be careful about letting him crawl back into your lives, if he chooses to try one day. Something similar happened recently to a friend of mine. She just looks at it and thinks at least she can raise the baby all her own way now, without his input. The kids don't have to suffer, because this is better than having a dad who is around just enough that the kids get hurt when their dad flakes or takes off like this, ya know? It will get easier to deal with. Do you get alone withthe mother of his other child? If so, maybe you two can talk through some of this together. Good luck, honey!

    Answer by musicpisces at 12:35 AM on Nov. 28, 2010

  • Of course not, we all want the best for our kids, but you know what he is. Your daughter needs selfless, loving parents, and if she just has you to be that for her, she will be fine. But she doesn't need a troublemaking narcissist around posing as a father either. Let him go. He has to live with himself. You have more important things to concern yourself with now. It will be hard at first, but eventually it will get easier.

    Answer by CarriePM at 12:39 AM on Nov. 28, 2010

  • I haven't been in this situation but my best friend - and cousin- had it happen to her. Her father left her mother will prego with her and her husband left her when she was pregnant. However her daughter has asked questions about him she's 6 and as far as she is concerned he doesn't matter. She rarely askes about him and I don't really think she cares to know anything about him. My cousin is finally dating its about 2 years into the relationship and he LOVES her daughter I believe she thinks of him as her dad. Would explain a lot. My opinion is as long as your baby knows that YOU love her and are her rock- that guy that you helped create her? Big deal, his loss maybe she will ask you a few questions and then dismiss him.

    Answer by elyssek832 at 12:40 AM on Nov. 28, 2010

  • I have seen it many times over. No dad is better than a really bad dad.

    Answer by karamille at 12:44 AM on Nov. 28, 2010

  • Let him be. It's his loss, not yours. He's acting immature. Just hope that one day when she's old enough to understand, she can tell him what she actually thinks of him if he decides to come back for one reason or another. This happened with my daughter, she hates him for what he did to her.

    Answer by amessageofhope at 12:50 AM on Nov. 28, 2010

  • Nothing you can do about his behavior and choices. The only thing you can do is focus on your new baby! Give her the best you've got and don't let your ex take that (your best) away from you or her! He's a looser, be glad he's gone!

    Answer by raynestar at 12:55 AM on Nov. 28, 2010

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