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2 Bumps

Mother in law vs. Daughter in law.... why the conflict?

I have been married 2 years now and I just cant seem to get along with my mother in law. Every time we go to visit she always seems to judge me, she barely talks to me and I just feel like I am a burden to her just by being at her house. I really don't understand why she acts like this but I usually get along with everyone but she just makes me very uncomfortable. Anyone have any ideas of how I can improve my relationship with her for the sake of my husband. He is just very torn because of this.

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judgednconfused

Asked by judgednconfused at 2:18 AM on Nov. 28, 2010 in Relationships

Level 6 (144 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • Sounds like a personal problem for her. She obviously resents you for some reason, many mothers have problems with their sons getting married because they feel like the wife has taken their son away. I doubt that it's you, she would act like that with any woman her son married. All you can do is try to be kind and polite, and be the best wife you can be to prove to her that you're good enough to be married to her son.
    FluffyMamaBunny

    Answer by FluffyMamaBunny at 2:21 AM on Nov. 28, 2010

  • You just described my relationship with my mother-in-law! For 27 yrs. since the day I married her son, I was an outcast, before, when we were dating, she was awesome. I think she liked the idea that her baby boy has another woman in his life. After all these years I'm done trying to make her like me, I just support my husband, he does love his mom
    Kathy675

    Answer by Kathy675 at 2:27 AM on Nov. 28, 2010

  • I should have said I don't think she likes her son having another woman
    Kathy675

    Answer by Kathy675 at 2:29 AM on Nov. 28, 2010

  • Well thanks girls for your comments. Kathy, I sure hope eventually she will open up and be nicer but I guess I shouldn't let it bother me but it just does because I just care about my husband. At least your mother in law was nice to you when you were dating.. Mine was the same as she is now..

    And fluffymamabunny, Thanks for the comments, that is what my own mother tells me but I guess I just care to much.. Maybe she will change one day... if I only knew what the heck bothers her so much about me.
    judgednconfused

    Comment by judgednconfused (original poster) at 2:30 AM on Nov. 28, 2010

  • lol, that's how many ex MIL used to be too. She just had this way of making me feel so uncomfortable. Later on I actually realized it was me who was putting myself in that situation by seeking her approval. I should have just pretended I did belong there and that I didn't really care how the flip she felt about me. That's what my SIL did and it worked for her! Try it.
    m-avi

    Answer by m-avi at 2:31 AM on Nov. 28, 2010

  • It is a proven fact that mother's often develop VERY close (if not co-dependent) relationships with their sons and the opposite for fathers and daughters!!! Where do think the quotes "mama's boy" and "daddy's girl" come from? It's a natural occurance when you think about the science of "most" relationships.
    truthteller0722

    Answer by truthteller0722 at 2:31 AM on Nov. 28, 2010

  • M-avi... thanks I will try it.. good idea..
    judgednconfused

    Comment by judgednconfused (original poster) at 2:33 AM on Nov. 28, 2010

  • @ m-avi..... what does "how the flip" mean exactly?
    truthteller0722

    Answer by truthteller0722 at 2:35 AM on Nov. 28, 2010

  • Where do you think
    truthteller0722

    Answer by truthteller0722 at 2:36 AM on Nov. 28, 2010

  • Do you like her? The simple anwser is not everyone is going to like you. My mother inlaw of 23 years is still that way. I have grown to not give a crap, really. My husband says I am imagining it and that troubled me for years until I realized I don't even like her. So ask yourself...do you like her?
    rosetoes

    Answer by rosetoes at 3:46 AM on Nov. 28, 2010

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