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Are "race discussions" at family gatherings a big deal?

I am really embarrassed when my family members talk about "race" whenever my husband and I go to my parents' house for family gatherings. I am a black woman and my husband is not black. On holidays at my parents' home, my siblings and cousins, and even my step dad always, always, always end up bringing "race" into discussions; that is, talking about how "blacks" do this and how "blacks" don't do that. And the other night, at Thanksgiving dinner, they used the "N" word at the dinner table like it was no big deal. Usually during these discussions my family members are speaking negatively about black people, and I find these conversations just embarrassing and totally inappropriate, especially when there are other races present. Am I making a big deal out of being upset by this? It seems to me that black people are more obsessed and concerned about race than any of the other races. I mean, do other ethnic groups talk this way at family gatherings?

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Asked by Anonymous at 3:12 AM on Nov. 28, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (4)
  • No. We're all white except a couple of my husband's cousins who are mulatto. Nobody ever brings it up.

    Answer by FluffyMamaBunny at 3:17 AM on Nov. 28, 2010

  • I feel for you. My husband's family doesn't talk about race, but there are a few relatives who use language I don't care for, and are obsessed with things that actually are fleeting. It is so tricky knowing what to say or when to say something at all.

    Answer by txdaniella at 3:48 AM on Nov. 28, 2010

  • Umm no, we never have discussions like that.


    Answer by beeky at 7:30 AM on Nov. 28, 2010

  • im sorry to hear that i am Hispanic and we have all types of ethnicity married into our family and we love it so many different tradition we just spend most of the time asking question and comparing our differences and we love it we are the type of family that love change and love to learn knew things

    Answer by cnoble927 at 7:49 AM on Nov. 28, 2010

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