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the right way to end Co-Sleeping Is?? Help me fig it out

My little girl will be 3 months on the 3rd of Dec & I'm afraid that I've already spoiled her. I'm a first time mom so I'm always holding her when she cries & the only way to get her to sleep is having her lay on my arm (co-sleeping) I want to get her back in her crib & a little more independent W sleeping how do I make this work? Is it normal for her to cry for long periods if I try .. Wats to long HELP

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Asked by Meesh87 at 8:27 AM on Nov. 28, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 4 (36 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • well you can't spoil a 3 month old. for infants being held is a need not a want. however you may have started a habit for her to want to always sleep on your arm. have you tried moving her to her crib after she's fallen asleep on your arm?

    Answer by tnm786 at 8:29 AM on Nov. 28, 2010

  • Yeaaaa I would try to move her once she's in a deep sleep but as soon as I put her down she would wake right up & cry I would do the process over @ least 3/4 times failing everytime & then giving up from exhaustion

    Comment by Meesh87 (original poster) at 8:32 AM on Nov. 28, 2010

  • I would wean them slowly into their own bed around 6 months or so. 3 month olds aren't spoil-able. Around 6 months you can start encouraging them to take naps in their own bed or allowing them to fall asleep with you and then moving them into their bed later to wake up in.

    Answer by But_Mommie at 8:32 AM on Nov. 28, 2010

  • 3 months is sort of the end of the "can't spoil them" period. But they now say letting them cry it out can be detrimental to their nervous system (cortisol levels rise dangerously high) and that they fall asleep because they are traumatized about thinking they have been abandoned. I can't do it. I am of the school that says allow the baby to dictate what s/he needs to sleep at night. When s/he is old enough to understand what sleep is, then you can start the transition. But that is just my opinion. I am sure you will get a bunch from the CIO school as well. It just isn't for me.

    Answer by CarriePM at 8:35 AM on Nov. 28, 2010

  • I did co-sleeping with both of my children for the first 3 months as well. It was easier on me with my BFing and I enjoyed the bonding =) Both of mine actually did quite well making the transition to the crib so I wouldn't jump the gun and assume that it is going to be really hard. They say the trick to getting them to sleep well in their crib is not waiting until they are completely asleep before you put them in. When she starts to look or act tired go ahead and lay her down and stand over the crib talking to her, caress her belly, arms, ect and let her know that mommy is still there. It may not catch on right away but shouldn't take too long =) Good luck

    Answer by Ctink8189 at 8:46 AM on Nov. 28, 2010

  • my little girl use to sleep in the pack and play right next to me at that time and she would play with my fingers and put herself to sleep. it was soothing to her to know mommy was there. she got cosleeping a little older and she was cio baby but way older then 3months. i would try get her drowsy and maybe a warm bath right before and soothing music. just a little routine. i never had a routine she just kind of dictated when she went to bed. but my cousin's son always slept well after the bath. i wouldn't cio this young but i don't see anything wrong with it later on. but its not for everyone. but at 3months i think there is plenty of time to get her use to it. good luck

    Answer by lambdarose at 8:53 AM on Nov. 28, 2010

  • I agree with not waiting until they are in a deep sleep. Once she is really drowsy put her down and you can pat her tummy, sing soflty, etc. Whatever the new routine is do it the same way every time. She will pick up on the cues and know it is time for sleep. Mine only "complained" for a few minutes, but I did it from birth. They never were left to scream or anything. You will have an adjustment period to go through. Are you swaddling her? My DIL and the lady I work for did the swaddling at this age and it really helped the baby feel secure. They stopped once the baby started wiggling out of it.

    Answer by elizabr at 10:07 AM on Nov. 28, 2010

  • Start with naps, but really you don't need to worry about spoiling at this age. Starting with naps is easier cause you are less tired and will become frustrated a lot slower. And don't worry about it taking a while, your baby is very young, she will get the hang of it in do time.
    Have you tried moving her to a swing or her car seat? My 13 month old still like to nap her infant car seat...which she still fits in, but because she is going to outgrow it I have been moving her to her bed or couch during the day, we co-sleep at night. All success's even the little ones are a good thing so don't forget to look at those also.

    Answer by luckysevenwow at 10:58 AM on Nov. 28, 2010

  • You can't spoil an infant. You are getting more sleep by co-sleeping, and are happier this way.
    When my daughter was finally sleeping six hours, started transitioning her into her crib at night. She always napped in her crib, so this was not too big of a deal.

    Answer by rkoloms at 6:21 PM on Nov. 28, 2010

  • 3 mos is very young. When I think of something spoiling, I think of a piece of fruit left too long on the kitchen counter. I think holding her is nice if that's what she needs, and i did this with my babies. You can try different things, like with my son, if I put him in his swing and vacuumed the floor, something about the sound soothed him to sleep/ Hugs.

    Answer by txdaniella at 8:07 PM on Nov. 28, 2010

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