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"he" said ODD thing about boy scout leaders//opinions please=is he a sexual predator

he is my recent ex, was visiting his child yesterday, he has two older kids (not mine) who live with him 50%. girl 10, boy 14(who he was scout leader for years ago-not for last six years). when i was asking about older kids, he was talking about girl 10 -( she always had friends over when i lived there)...he said he told her that he perfers to have her play at her friends house instead of them coming to his house. i asked why?

he said, "to cover his ass" (i questioned this) he said "one of the things you learn in scout leader training..have another adult around incase child makes some kind of excusation" "a child could be mad about anything and make up something, if another adult is around, you have a witness"

is this something the boyscouts teach their leaders??? i ask because therapist told me that he should not be around our child unspuervised that she thinks he has no sexual boundaries-(he does not know therapist said this to me) makes me wonder if this is a scout thing, or is he trying to stop himself from something, maybe others "know" something i do not? it just seems like an over the top thing to say let alone act on. when i was there, girl-10, always had friends over after school, if she did not bring a friend home after school it was odd, i NEVER thought to have another adult there "to cover my ass" just me being paranoid or does this seem odd to you too


Asked by fiatpax at 9:45 AM on Nov. 28, 2010 in Relationships

Level 46 (221,572 Credits)
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Answers (13)
  • OK, I just read your other answers. YOU ALREADY KNOW THIS MAN IS A PREDATOR. He was being sexually inappropriate with his niece & with his daughters toys.

    Answer by BubbaLuva at 10:29 AM on Nov. 28, 2010

  • It's called "2-deep leadership". It's a safety measure to protect both the adults and the children. It absolutely does not mean that he - or anyone else - is a sexual predator.

    Answer by aliceinalgonac at 10:10 AM on Nov. 28, 2010

  • It does not sound the slightest bit "odd". And it doesn't sound paranoid. Many organizations and agencies that work with children encourage and require this type of supervision in order to keep everyone safe.

    Answer by justnancyb at 10:13 AM on Nov. 28, 2010

  • No it doesn't sound odd. It sounds like he is being careful and who knows how the therapist came up with that. The therapists our family uses come up with crazy stuff all the time.

    Answer by ashisamom at 9:49 AM on Nov. 28, 2010

  • um it actually sounds to me like he really might just be trying to cover his ass. men get such a bad rap for wanting to work with kids. and its true, at any time a kid or a parent can get mad and claim something that never happened. and most likely the child would be believed, not your ex. does this therapist know him?

    Answer by momslikeme366 at 9:51 AM on Nov. 28, 2010

  • I have been working in the MR/MH field for many years. We are taught in our crisis training courses to try not to be alone with a client because they often DO make unfounded accuastions. I don't know if the Boy Scouts teach the same, but it really wouldn't surprise me.

    Answer by layh41407 at 9:51 AM on Nov. 28, 2010

  • I think he is just trying to keep himself safe. Believe it or not kids will and say things like that just to cause trouble if the parent did something they didn't like.
    I even knew a couple of girls growing up who accused teachers of sexual harassment when they didn't get a passing grade. (Yes I along with other people ratted them out so they got into trouble not the teacher) but yeah, it happens and I don't know him personally but my first thought is that he is a single dad and doesn't want trouble when it comes to this sort of thing.

    Answer by Gnomeofmyheart at 10:08 AM on Nov. 28, 2010

  • Yes, I was an assistant leader for my boys' scout troup. It is REQUIRED to have 2 adults at the meetings for the exact reason you stated. It is definitely a CYA policy/statement. And, your ex being a single dad and all the crap that is going on with kids today...yeah, I'd cover my ass too. It soesn't mean he is a sexual predator or a potential one. He just wants to cover his ass and I agree with him.

    Answer by specialwingz at 9:57 AM on Nov. 28, 2010

  • no therapist we went to twice was basing her statement on fact he gave his 16 yr old neice beer, did shots of tequila with her, smoked pot with her and talked of fosting with her, made her bend over to get spanked with wooden paddle - she did not want to - he said if she did not bend over to get paddle on her butt, he would spank her "front"-boobs
    therapist told me she had to check to see if she had to reposrt this to authorities
    this was not a simple give a teen a glass of wine at holiday dinner, therapist said he was grooming her (i was not doing his fetish thing of putting penis on and doing it to him for hours)

    just never would think of covering anything, it is a girl having a friend over playing barbies or skating around the block

    also he has put his ten yr girl barbies in sexual postions and left for her to find - i asked girl 10 if she was doing this- i found them like that- thought maybe she was curious,

    Comment by fiatpax (original poster) at 9:57 AM on Nov. 28, 2010

  • You didn't think to have a 2nd adult over because you are a woman. It is a social stereotype/paranoia. Men alone with little girls always seems to conjure up the worst in people's heads.

    As for the dolls in sexual positions...sorry, but the kid isn't gonna admit they did it. I found some porno in my teen boys' rooms. They SWEAR they didn't put it there. Yeah, right! LOL.

    Answer by specialwingz at 10:04 AM on Nov. 28, 2010