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3 Bumps

Do you and your DH/SO stop talking to each other (silent treatment to each other) after a quarrel?

I used the term quarrel (instead of fight) because I know a lot of women on here would respond back saying that they do not fight with their husbands. So lets say something happens where rhe hurts your feelings (or vice versa), would you (or him) react by giving each other the silent treatment, even if its for a few minutes, before you talk about it and work things out? Or do you just carry on as if you werent hurt and pretend like he didnt hurt your feelings?

I ask this because I am in a new relationship and we seem to give each other the silent treatment A LOT. We do talk later on about it but I do not like the silent treatment. I think it is immature, but then again I feel afraid to confront him and talk to him because I am scared it would escalate and become even worse. I always wait until he comes to me to talk whenever hes ready.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:36 PM on Nov. 28, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (16)
  • I TRY to give him the silent treatment after we fight (yes, we actually fight!) but he's so annoying that he won't let me. He just acts like nothing happened and he NEVER holds a grudge. I was even the one who majorly ticked him off a couple weeks ago and after he got done yelling, he never brought it up again.
    I could learn something from him I guess.
    Orionsgirl

    Answer by Orionsgirl at 5:39 PM on Nov. 28, 2010

  • No we don't do that. We used to when we were first together, but now when we come to a resolution we move on from that. Now that I look back it was kind of like a cry for attention, you stay silent as a way to hold a grudge, or get the other peon to come to you and try to make you feel better, or to just be a Bitch. Yeah, I'm over that.
    DomoniqueWS

    Answer by DomoniqueWS at 5:44 PM on Nov. 28, 2010

  • person***
    DomoniqueWS

    Answer by DomoniqueWS at 5:44 PM on Nov. 28, 2010

  • Nah, when we hurt each other we usually give each other space for a bit then we come back and talk about it, neither of us stay mad very long so that helps too.
    HappyMonkeys

    Answer by HappyMonkeys at 5:46 PM on Nov. 28, 2010

  • we shut down a little ..... and for HUGE blow ups my husband goes for a drive. In general, though, we try and apologize, resolve things, etc .... we both have a habit of holding onto things and using them as future fuel. grrr... but we're working on it
    hibbingmom

    Answer by hibbingmom at 5:46 PM on Nov. 28, 2010

  • no we always end up talking about why we were quarreling

    4_28_bbboy

    Answer by 4_28_bbboy at 5:47 PM on Nov. 28, 2010

  • My husband always wants to talk but I will give him a the silent treatment. I don't want words to slip out of anger.

    emilysmom1966

    Answer by emilysmom1966 at 5:50 PM on Nov. 28, 2010

  • No. I never ever resorted to that type of behavior. Very childish and the first time my husband tried that I told him in our family we do not act that babyish. Grow up I told him. He never did that to me again. It worked!
    mamacita69930

    Answer by mamacita69930 at 5:51 PM on Nov. 28, 2010

  • ok so my question for 4_28_bbboy and DomoniqueWS is at what point do you actually talk about it? During the quarrel or do you storm off, cool off for a while and then come back to talk about it?
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 5:52 PM on Nov. 28, 2010

  • No, We believe in communicating and don't believe in ignoring each other. We work things out right away and then talk about happier things to forget about the spat. And, if possible, have make up sex. ;D
    -AJ

    Answer by -AJ at 5:59 PM on Nov. 28, 2010

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