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I'm 18 weeks pregnant and I already need new friends. My old ones do not seem to understand that I don't have the time or the money to do anything. I'm trying to be nice but I'm losing my patience. Does anyone have any advice?

I'm a young mom to be, and the rest of my friends are in their 20's. I feel like I have more important things to do right now than go to lunch, movies, shopping, and overall spending money. They sent me really nasty emails this weekend saying that I'm the one being irrational and they're just trying to reach out to me. Am I being irrational, or does this normally happen during pregnancy/mommyhood?

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ellerosiedee

Asked by ellerosiedee at 5:31 PM on Jul. 5, 2008 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • I was once a young mommy and very moody. I'm 27 with my oldest being 13teen so yeah it comes with being pregnant and motherhood.Things will mellow out once the baby is born about your friends try to find mutual middle and tell them your pregnant cut you some slack its hard work.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:52 PM on Jul. 5, 2008

  • i actually lost touch with most of my friends during my pregnancy (i was 15) because they were all going out and i couldnt...i have learned to make new friends though....and a lot of your old friends will come back when they have babies and you have something in common or can offer them advice....also, once your child gets older and you can go out more, you may feel like your old friends are stupid because having a baby changes your perspective a lot
    LoriaAnn

    Answer by LoriaAnn at 5:57 PM on Jul. 5, 2008

  • Try to compromise... they're not going to give up their "fun" for you b/c they're not the pregnant ones. I was in my mid-20's with my first baby & my friends were still that way. If you always say NO when they invite you out, they're going to stop asking. I know you want to save money (and energy) for your baby, but if you want to keep your friends you have to give in once in a while. It's also a good idea to start making some new friends... people who have kids or are pregnant. They'll be great support for you!
    crazysocks830

    Answer by crazysocks830 at 7:51 PM on Jul. 5, 2008

  • You know what i hear what you are saying you need a friend i got your friend right here. I'm glad you realize your responsibilites as a mother. To be honest a lot of women do not get it in there early 20's sometimes. Thats why after the baby is born a lot of women go into depression because they dont have people around them that they can call friends because they all have deserted them. Those dirty emails keep them because when it comes time for winter they will be nice for a fire or fireplace somewhere lol. gosh people make me so mad.
    GoldieLocks18

    Answer by GoldieLocks18 at 11:19 PM on Jul. 5, 2008

  • well i was like that to but im 16 most of my friends rang from 15-19 and i felt liek the only person who really could do things with me was my babys father. but now i go to a school with pregnant/parenting monthers so i made new firends with the same problems i was having!
    sweetie_16

    Answer by sweetie_16 at 10:11 PM on Jul. 6, 2008

  • I understand your point of view completely. I'm 27 and just found out I'm pregnant. A couple of my single friends had issues with it right from the get-go. Basically, they couldn't conceive of the fact that I would consciously want to have a kid so soon (their view, not mine) and give up my life of partying with them. I had many many years of partying and am no longer interested. Basically, I sent one an e-mail explaning this and telling her to back-off. I emphasized that I would still be the same person, just not drunk at bars every weekend. It would help if you could try to find fun things to do with them that don't involve partying or spending a lot of money. Invite them to the movies or over to your house to watch a movie. Think of creative ways to get together with them. My best friend and I have started doing exercise videos together now. You can show them that you haven't changed, you just have different interests and have a family to think about now.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:01 PM on Jul. 7, 2008

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