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HOW DO YOU DICIPLINE YOUR CHILDREN

MY STEP SON IS TESTING THE LIMITS AND I FEEL BAD POPING HIM ALL THE TIME AND IF I PUT HIM IN THE CORNER HE SCREAMS MY 1YR OLD IS PICKING UP SOME OF HIS HABITS TO GIVE YOU A LIL BACKGROUND ON US. HIS MOTHER DOSENT COME AROUND MUCH AND WHEN SHE DOES IT HAS TO DEAL WITH MONEY OR SHE WANTS PEOPLE TO GETT OFF HER BACH( HER MOM) I HAVE KNOWN MY HUSBAND FOR 9 YEARS WE HAVE BEEN MARRIED A YEAR I WANT MY BOYS TO GROW UP THE SAME I JUST HAVE DIFFERE NT VIEWS THEN MY MIL ON RAISING THEM SHE SAY'S THAT THEY ARE BABIES AND THAT MY SS IS DOING IT CAUSE HE MISSES HIS MOM BUT HOW CAN YOU MISS SOMETHING THAT IS NEVER REALLY THERE HE IS 31/2 AND ITS GETTING HARDER I FEEL LIKE IM FAILING THEM I DONT TREAT MY STEP SON NO DIFFERENT HE GETS WHEN THE BABY GETS I CLAIMED HIM BEFORE I WAS MARRIED I LOOK AT HIM AS MY OWN HIS BIRTH MOM DOSENT CALL OR COME AROUND WHAT DO I DO

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:27 PM on Nov. 28, 2010 in General Parenting

Answers (9)
  • I use time outs. But it's a little different. We call it the "chill out chair". There is no time limit on it and he goes there to chill out. He can sit for 10 minutes or he can sit for 30 seconds.. He can even go to it himself if he feels like he needs it. It works for us.
    TARARENEE

    Answer by TARARENEE at 6:32 PM on Nov. 28, 2010

  • thank you
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 6:32 PM on Nov. 28, 2010

  • I take rights away.

    Always give them a fare warning. If they push it after the warning, take a right away. Could be a favorite TV show, a playdate, desert. ANYTHING that will have leverage over him. You can do this at 3 1/2. Don't yell or spank, just follow through with whatever right you take away. We're not a spanking household. I'm not against it, we just don't do it. I have found that this method works WONDERS for my DD. I give her a warning, if that doesn't work i take rights away & i don't get angry or upset. I just tell her "OK, i warned you, now you cannot go on your playdate tomorrow" Without even getting angry, this works real well. You will have to remind the 3 YO why though. You'll have to be more specific & remind him that he is getting rights taken away because of what he did & remind him what he did wrong.
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 6:33 PM on Nov. 28, 2010

  • thank you i will try it
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 6:35 PM on Nov. 28, 2010

  • well, i do a couple of warnings, if that doesn't work, they go to time out. if that doesn't work, they get a spanking. that normally works. if for some reason it doesn't, guess who goes to bed? even if it is 2 in the afternoon. i put them to bed. basically like the chill out chair like a pp said. once they're calmed down, i'll go in there and have a talk with them, and if they're over it or whatever, i'll let them back up.
    armywife43

    Answer by armywife43 at 6:35 PM on Nov. 28, 2010

  • 1st of all you are typing in all caps so you must really be stressed and yelling . I for 1 don't think there is a thing wrong with a pop on the butt. I did it to my oldest 2 now grown and have done it to my 8 yr old but not near anything I did with my oldest. I know you must be very frustrated. Is your dh helping at all? He needs to and this has nothing to do with not seeing his bio mom.
    Time outs IMO do not work. Just be very consistant with him and don't vary the punishment much.
    Moms_Angels1960

    Answer by Moms_Angels1960 at 6:35 PM on Nov. 28, 2010

  • no im not fustrated and i wasnt trying to give it that way its just how i post questions when i need a qick response sorry i appreciate everyones in put thus far thank you
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 6:39 PM on Nov. 28, 2010

  • We used to take away whatever was most important to them for an appropriate length of time. It worked well for us.
    elizabr

    Answer by elizabr at 7:08 PM on Nov. 28, 2010

  • I use time outs which have been suggested. I always try to give my DD choices whenever possible- this helps her feel like she has control, too. So if she is being bad I say "Do you want to give me the pen or do you want a time out?" or if she is having a fit because she wants candy I will say "you can choose pretzels or yogurt for a snack or no snack" this way she feels like she has a choice in the matter. If she doesn't want to get ready to go out I ask her which shoes or which coat she wants to wear, etc. If she plays with a toy inappropriately, for example trying to color where she shouldn't I tell her to color on her paper or she will lose her crayons- if she doesn't comply I put the crayons away for the rest of the day.
    MaryMW

    Answer by MaryMW at 4:01 PM on Nov. 29, 2010

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