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a question for all moms

Is it not a mother's responsibility to tell their children when they are acting badly, rude, disrespectful or otherwise? My step-daughter who is 31 is so rude and disrespectful to me most of the time, when I tell her how she is acting, she says, moms never talk to their kids that way....meaning, I can say and act however I want and you just have to grin and bear it!! Really??? I treat her the same way I treat my other 2 kids. Where does she get off thinking I should treat her differently or with kid gloves??

 
Frustrated1126

Asked by Frustrated1126 at 7:51 PM on Nov. 28, 2010 in Adult Children (18+)

Level 3 (17 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • First and foremost, is it acceptable to your husband that she speaks to you this way? You and your husband need to be on the same page concerning her. If she thinks she can get away with it, her behavior will continue. You and your husband need to sit her down and discuss her attitude and disrespect. This way, you are a united front. Stepchildren at times feel entitled and think they can do and say what they want. Stand firm. If it continues happening tell her not to bother coming over. Good luck.
    twinkletoes0408

    Answer by twinkletoes0408 at 8:44 PM on Nov. 28, 2010

  • Well, at that age, she's not a child. She's an adult and even though she's acting badly, you most likely aren't going to change anything. So I would say either remove her from your life or learn to deal with it, cause at 31, she's set in her ways... She may TECHNICALLY be your step child, but she's really not your child in any way...
    SabrinaMBowen

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 7:53 PM on Nov. 28, 2010

  • I'm with you. Was she spoiled growing up? Has no one ever been frank with her before?
    musicpisces

    Answer by musicpisces at 7:53 PM on Nov. 28, 2010

  • I agree that you should tell your child when they are acting like an ass, but at 31, I am not sure. Would you tell just any other 31 year old they were acting a fool?
    dancinintherain

    Answer by dancinintherain at 8:01 PM on Nov. 28, 2010

  • She wasn't so much spoiled with material things, I think her mom just let her do and say whatever, then I come along a she gets a dose of reality! I agree she will never change, but how can I look the other way when she treats me badly? If I let her get away with it, what message is that telling my other kids??
    Frustrated1126

    Comment by Frustrated1126 (original poster) at 8:02 PM on Nov. 28, 2010

  • How old are your other children... If your SD is 31 and the others are also grown, they should already know how they can and can't talk to you. If they are younger, you just let them know this kind of behavior will not be tolerated.. At 31, yes she should know how to speak to you with respect but she doesn't and you can't change that. So the question is, how do you deal with other grown people talking to you that way? You would talk to her or deal with her in the same manner you would others.
    midnightmoma

    Answer by midnightmoma at 8:10 PM on Nov. 28, 2010

  • IMO i dont think you should treat your kids differently i dont care if they are step or biological. just because she is ur step daughter doesnt mean she needs to be handled with care.
    tigger_18_55

    Answer by tigger_18_55 at 8:13 PM on Nov. 28, 2010

  • I tell my children when they act like they shouldn't, when they are being disrespectful, etc. Adult and teen.
    twinsplus2more

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 8:16 PM on Nov. 28, 2010

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