Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

3 Bumps

does anyone know how to get over a husband that left you after 21 years of marriage? and does he still love me even though he says he dont?

we have been separated for 7 months now and all i do is cry everyday, he really left me for no reason , he says because he wants to be alone and have peace in his life. he didnt leave me for another woman.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 11:41 PM on Nov. 28, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (12)
  • Starting over is never easy. It takes time to process what's happened. Only he can decide if he still loves you. It sounds like he just wants alone time for a while. If he didn't file for divorce then that might be hopeful but be careful not to get false hope.

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:46 PM on Nov. 28, 2010

  • thanks for your input, and no he didnt file for divorce but he did say he wanted 1

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:55 PM on Nov. 28, 2010

  • I'm sorry. It isn't easy being with someone for 21 years and have them walk away. I guess he had his reasons, no matter what they were. If I were you, I would focus on my life and moving forward. I can't say if he does or doesn't love you, I don't know either one of you. For your sake just try and move on. It will get easier in time and remember "He walked out of your life" So to heck with him hunny...get your booty moving, go out with friends...have some fun!

    Answer by tracylyn245 at 12:03 AM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • No...I'm sorry and I dont wish your pain upon anybody. I agree with the 1st poster. Maybe he's going through "something" you don;t understand. My only advice is...pray. (If you're a Christian).. "When God leads you to the edge of the cliff, trust Him fully and let go...only 1 of 2 things will happen...either He'll catch you when you fall, or He'll teach you how to fly!".....Good Luck.

    Answer by HaydensMama07 at 12:03 AM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • thank you!!

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:06 AM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • First things first, you have to learn to love and take care of yourself before trying to love and take care of anyone else! I speak from experience.......what's meant to be, will be.

    Answer by renee00 at 12:09 AM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • I've been with my husband for almost 21 years and around our 19 year mark he had an affair with a nasty ugly cum dumpster and things have been beyond shaky since then. I don't know how long we'll go on because nothing will ever be the same between us. So...I'm also facing this prospect and don't look forward to it at all. One thing I do know, I am a strong women...I've been to Hellenback University in Hardknocks, USA and I got my masters. No matter what his reason, it's selfish to just walk away from someone that's been there for you for 21 years and you deserve better. I'm no saying with someone else, I'm saying you deserve better with yourself.

    Answer by ShouldHaveLeft at 12:12 AM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • I'm wondering if he says that he wants to be alone because he needs peace in his life: were you nagging him all the time, I mean why did he feel like he needed to be alone to gain peace?? Whatever the case may be, time waits for no one and life is too short so in the mean time and in between time you should make every effort to go on with your life and live it to the fullest. Days will turn into weeks and weeks into months, but time will heal your wounds. I promise. There is a higher power waiting for you to call on him, and when you is on the way. He will NEVER leave or forsake you.

    Answer by mamameka1 at 12:13 AM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • Sometimes people need time to themselves to figure out some things. Despite the fact that he didn't leave you because of another woman, at least you know that he didn't cheat. Maybe he's in a mid-life crisis.

    Answer by amessageofhope at 12:15 AM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • thanks for all the advise and input and no i didnt nag him bout anything, but he did always have his single friends over and drinking and i said things about that.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:19 AM on Nov. 29, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.