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My mother in law and I cant stand eachother...?

and... my husband insists on seeing her all of the time. he keeps saying our relationship is fine and I should put more of an effort into being nice to her. I get it. I do, she hates me even though I very much respect her, and never say anything rude to her. She always makes rude comments and acts nice in front of my husband, then is bitchy behind him. the other day he witnessed an episode. He won't talk about it. She said something very nasty to me, making me look greedy mean, and he got what i meant about her. I'm trying not to push, but he won't even bring it up or be supportive or say ANYTHING.he acts like nothing happened. but he's hardly talking to me either. ??? what the hell.i'm starting to resent them both. should i be mad at him too for just saying nothing when he should stood there letting her be rude to me. i dont know?


Asked by fefe87 at 12:32 AM on Nov. 29, 2010 in Relationships

Level 16 (2,737 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (4)
  • So what's happening, is he feels forced to choose his forever family or his new family. Even if you're not asking, he feels it's attacking. Just be cool and I promise you, that MIL will show her true colors again and again because she can't help it. Eventually he'll see it and really understand. I've been through this. Pick your battles wisely. You can also put space between you and her which will help you. With the recent incident you might remind him how disrespectful it was of him to not support you when even HE knew it was in order.

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 12:37 AM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • Im sorry about the whole situation, my mother in law acts all nice in front of my face aand then says bad things to my husband about me when I am not around and then he tells me.. Ultimately it upsets me.. sounds like your situation is the opposite. makes you wonder why some people can't grow up?
    You may want to bring it up with your husband and just tell him your feelings on the situation and that you understand that he probably feels like he is in the middle but if he really cares about you he should have stood up and supported you and had her stop. that is just childish non sense going on but that is just a suggestion.. as i haven't figured out how to fix my problem either.
    I wouldn't force anything upon your husband as he is basically being torn between the both of you..

    Answer by judgednconfused at 1:14 AM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • I actually didn't see it that way when I was going through it with my MIL during my marriage. But it is true that the husband does feel like he is in the middle of the situation between his wife and mother. Eventually it is going to be the wife and MIL that will get their relationship together but in most situations the husband should support his wife. He should also express to his mother that even though she don't approve of who he married she should respect her.

    Answer by kim0167 at 1:39 AM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • Pick your battles, Win your wars!!..... I am married to a momma's boy. And my MIL has been a Bitch since day one. And my husband always swears he talks to his mother, but she will do her thing anyways. I am never rude, most of the time I let it just roll right off. But I do stand up for myself when I reach my point. That is what you need to do. Be calm and respectful, but tell her that crap needs to stop.

    Answer by eluc at 10:36 AM on Nov. 29, 2010