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My soon to be 4yr old son doesn't want a birthday party... or presents?!!

My son will be 4 soon, and i've asked him a few times what he wants to do for his bday, what kind of presents he wants, and who he wants to invite. His response is always "I don't want anything! No birthday!" I don't understand it!! When i was a kid my birthday was the most exciting day of the year for me! I think it might be because maybe he gets nervous when all the attention is on him? But then i think that hes always so wild and hyper JUST to get attention! He did this during halloween too. We said "are you ready to get dressed up and go trick or treating?!" and he said "NO! im not trick or treating! i don't want candy!" until we finally convinced him to go. Any ideas on why he could be acting like this?!?

Answer Question

Asked by exxOHjackie at 1:19 AM on Nov. 29, 2010 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 9 (345 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • no clue but did u ask him why he feels this way?
    does he get angry when he say this?

    Answer by FreeSpriT4eva at 1:23 AM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • Yes he does get a little angry. And i've asked him why, but he just repeats the same thing.. "No presents! no birthday!"

    Comment by exxOHjackie (original poster) at 1:24 AM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • Maybe you are right, he doesn't like the spotlight on him. If he is shy, don't overwhelm him with a big tadoo.... have him invite a couple of his best friends for a movie and pizza, or something like that. Then his day is still special, but the pressure is off of him.

    Answer by CarriePM at 1:25 AM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • he doesnt realize how fun birthdays can be yet...he doesnt remember, or hasnt had that experience something small but rewarding to show him and then next year he will be screaming for tons of loved ones all gathered at Chuck E. Cheese's!!

    Answer by mamagee1218 at 1:29 AM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • Celebrate with just your immediate family, something small. Make or go out for his favorite food and dessert, and give him presents but don't wrap them. Maybe he just gets annoyed by the stress. You can't force a kid to have fun.

    Answer by FluffyMamaBunny at 1:32 AM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • would he prefer that u make a donation in his name to sick children or some other charity.
    my niece kept saying that she didnt want anything for christmas @5 or 6..but nobody knew why..then a teacher was talking to her an she kept saying she didnt think that she deserved it cause there were kids who needed it more than they came up with an idea to give someone else a gift of her choice..she chose to give away presents to kids in a home of some sort who werent getting anything..i thought it was sweet..

    Answer by FreeSpriT4eva at 1:33 AM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • Just get him some gifts, make him a cake and his favorite meal, and leave it at that. Birthdays don't HAVE to be a big production.

    Leave a small gift or two on the table for him to see in the morning and see how he reacts to them. If he's excited and all that , follow through with other presents and the cake with candles later in the day. If he still reacts negatively, save the presents till Christmas, and just have the cake like a regular dessert, no candles.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:10 AM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • Maybe he gets embarrassed by the attention? I'm 41, and still don't like birthday parties. If he doesn't want a party, I would do a special dinner with him, and give him presents without the wrapping paper. I'd guess this is a phase, but I still haven't quite grown out of it :)

    Answer by Scuba at 8:57 AM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • i have no idea. my dd was excited about her bday.

    Answer by tonyalynn at 1:38 PM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • I have never had either of my kids not a want a party but maybe he really just doesn't like that spot light on them. My daughter gets embarrassed and acts kind of weird once the singing of happy birthday time comes into play.  Maybe you could just have a dinner at a place fun where he can play with a couple friends or family members. 


    Answer by Peajewel at 3:57 PM on Nov. 29, 2010

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