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3 Bumps

Should I cut ties with my family?

The only tie I had with my other sisters and their children, was through my sister. She died and I see no reason to keep in touch with them. They only brought heartache to my sister and me. My sister was the peace keeper. I did as she asked out of respect and love for her. But now that she's gone, I don't see the need of it. Am I being selfish? She loved them so much and they hurt her even more. I don't want to go through that experience with them. Am I wrong for wanting to let go. Plz, I need someone to see it from the outside. I'm just too close to the picture. What do you think?

Answer Question
 
Prayerpartner

Asked by Prayerpartner at 3:13 AM on Nov. 29, 2010 in Relationships

Level 20 (10,072 Credits)
Answers (18)
  • I am not sure what your exact circumstances are. I definitely support and encourage healthy, and firm boundaries. cutting ties sounds like it would involve 'cutting' of ties. Maybe just some space, without explanation until/unless you feel motivated to converse with them. It sounds like you are really hurting from the loss of your sister at this time. I would probably wait to deal with any other emotionally draining people/things until a later time. ((hugs))
    blessedwithree

    Answer by blessedwithree at 3:29 AM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • Thank you for your advice. I will try it. I know how they are are. Maybe with their mother's death they'll have a wake up call. I can hope...
    Prayerpartner

    Comment by Prayerpartner (original poster) at 3:48 AM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • Never cut ties with your family. Maybe just not talking. But never cut ties I do not talk to my Dad that much. But I have never told him I never want anything to do with him. I can call him if I want and he can call me too. We just do not talk much. But my oldest DD has cut ties with me. She changed her phone # and blocked me from every web site she is on. She can call me if she want . I have not cut ties with her, she has with me.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 3:58 AM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • Some time space is okay when you need it. No one can cut all ties but do take your time out. Hugs!
    rosetoes

    Answer by rosetoes at 4:02 AM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • I think there's merit in what everyone is saying....I wouldn't physically set out to cut the ties, but I wouldn't go out of my way to stay in touch either. I love NOtaDumbMother's take on the situation...she's right...sometimes there's an importance placed on blood lines that I just don't understand....
    FXmomTo3

    Answer by FXmomTo3 at 4:38 AM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • I would just leave it. If they ever feel the need to conatct you they'll know how to find you. That's the way I do it (have a similar situation in the family). And anyway ... Do not allow energy-vamoires in your life!
    BeachMom81

    Answer by BeachMom81 at 4:47 AM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • vampires
    BeachMom81

    Answer by BeachMom81 at 4:47 AM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • Cutting ties is very strong. I would just leave it be at this time. They know where to find you at and when the time is right they will come looking.Family can be very hard to get along with. I wouldn't go out of my way to engage them into anything.
    I am so sorry for the lost of your sister. I know with my husband he has lost his mom, brother, dad and stepdad all within 4 years. Bless you!
    Moms_Angels1960

    Answer by Moms_Angels1960 at 6:20 AM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • I know what you mean, I just lost my mom last year. She was the only thing keeping me and my only sister together. I haven't really cut ties, we just don't talk . Didn't even see her for Thanksgiving. So in my experience I would just not speak to them, not necessarily "cut ties." Maybe things will change and if you did cut ties it would be hard to go back. Best of luck!!!!
    arenad

    Answer by arenad at 7:17 AM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • I'm so sorry for the loss of your sister. It sounds like you and I are the same person. The only person I had close ties to was my brother, but he seems to have decided to no longer want any connection with me either. I think maybe a little time may be needed to allow you to think things through and then make this decision. This is a big decision, and one you can't change once it's made. I will keep you in my prayers and ask God to guide you through this difficult time. ((((Hugs)))))
    Robsmommy

    Answer by Robsmommy at 8:53 AM on Nov. 29, 2010

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