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Being married for 19 years: many obsticles in our way adult content

The last couple of months he has been unable to satisfy me. He always wants me to give him a blow job, he always thinks i am horney when im wet, and that is far from the truth. We have been arguing lately alot, I just want to leave. I don't feel sexy anymore, I am tired of always satisfing his needs and him not mine. I don't know how to tell him this. I know that after 19 years i should be able to tell him anything, but I can't.

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Asked by browneyesMN at 3:39 AM on Nov. 29, 2010 in Relationships

Level 2 (4 Credits)
Answers (13)
  • Been married for 21 years March will be 22. You better start learning how to tell/talk to your DH. Or he will never know you are unhappy. You have never told him how you feel so he does not know. He is not a mind reader. If you can not talk honestly to your DH, why be with him.

    Answer by louise2 at 3:45 AM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • You can and you must. If you do not tell him things will not change.

    Answer by rosetoes at 3:55 AM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • Well I guess that's why were talking divorce. You know I didn't post this for you to be a smart ass. I would assume that after so many years he would know if his wife was being pleased or not. I make smart remarks, one day I said im serious I am not playing. I do say it in a non harsh way, but give hints, like love coupons and such, but now I know why I never get on these damb site.........screw off

    Comment by browneyesMN (original poster) at 4:02 AM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • I do not know what you wanted to hear. If you do not tell him strait up your feeling about things he will never know. Just the truth, that's all. Maybe he does not care how you feel about thing?

    Answer by louise2 at 4:15 AM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • Maybe what I wanted was not a smart ass remark, and maybe what would you do......You have no clue to who I am I just wanted some advice, and yes maybe he doesn't care your just a bully, and I don't have time for people like you, I am getting off this site, and delete anything I will never get on another site again.........Thank you for reminding me why I should not put myself out there with personel problems, and being on other sites where I thought I would get some respectful answer, well I hope you enjoy or get something out of making other feel like shit, and making yourself feel better...........I hate people like you!

    Comment by browneyesMN (original poster) at 4:30 AM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • Not trying to make you feel like shit. I am telly you what I would do. I would tell my DH my feelings on whatever. Wheather it was sex or his lack of helping out cleaning the house.

     If you can not handle other peoples oppinions. Maybe you need to post more details. You did not ask "What would you do" or "Need adivice please help" It looked like you where just venting to me. You need to post so people will answer properly.


    Answer by louise2 at 4:46 AM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • Husbands are not mind readers. You have to tell him what you want and you have to be very plain spoken and very specific. It doesn't matter how long you have been married, you still have to do that. And hint dropping is useless. Men don't get hints. They get it when you tell them very straight-forwardly exactly what you need for them to do. It's the way men are wired, and it's nothing like we women are.

    Answer by NannyB. at 5:35 AM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • Hmmm, louise2 was giving you good advice and not in any way being a smart ass or bullying you. Just because you don't agree with her advice doesn't mean she was being rude. You on the other hand are behaving like an immature baby, grow up! I agree with the others, tell him, don't just hint around, men don't get hints.

    Answer by shanlaree at 6:52 AM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • If your still there...I have to agree with pp. After 14 years my DH sometimes "forgets" what gets me going. I don't think he does it on purpose. But its not in his nature to be slow with sex. I have to remind him to slow down, in a very nice and kind way as not to hurt his ego. He usually gets with the program and our sex life becomes awesome again. If I stopped telling him, he's just most likely do what he likes and assume I was okay. I am sure you husband wants to please you, most men love pleasing a woman. Just guide him kindly.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:44 AM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • Sex is such a touchy subject, I to am not the best at talking about it. There are times when brutel honesty is not the best policy. Keeping that romance in the relationship is hard to do when you have to speak up on how he or she is or isn't getting pleased. It has to be taken care of in a delicate way or a fight happens. It is hard to be a porn star when you are feeling down in the dumps to begin with. Have you tried to stimulate yourself before the hubby enters the picture? Can show him what excites you without telling him at what he isn't doing right?


    Answer by trashymom at 8:22 AM on Nov. 29, 2010

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