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How do i get my son to stop only wanting things from his real father?

I have a 3 year old...almost four in january.. i recently left his father, and moved 2,500 miles away from him.. I got with someone that i am completely in love with and so is my son... my son doesnt really remember his father, and now calls my boyfriend daddy... I did not push this, he did this on his own... I allow my son to talk to his father, but everytime he talks to him he just tells him he wants his toys and his blankey... we moved very quickly and his things got left behind and so did mine... And this upsets his real father... So basically.. How do i get him to stop doing this... I really need some advice on this issue      Just to carify things.... I left my husband because of abuse towards myself and my son.... He calls my boyfriend daddy, because he loves my boyfriend... He remembers the abuse and the fact that he got hit, and doesnt want to go back and see him... he just wants his toys and blankey... because i couldnt take all our things with me on a bus to a new life for us... So please i understand that you were not trying to make me feel bad, but i thought i should let you guys know the reasoning as to why things went down the way that they did.. i do not regret the fact that i am letting my son call my guy daddy, because he is a great man and loves us unconditionally.... with that said i really need some advice on this problem that i have... thankyou

Answer Question
 
megans_gotchu

Asked by megans_gotchu at 5:07 AM on Nov. 29, 2010 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 2 (4 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • Could dad send some of his stuff to you that the little guy is missing?
    Suzie2mom

    Answer by Suzie2mom at 6:17 AM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • If he is almost three and you recently left his father, he DOES remember his father. You are also obviously being with someone awful soon after leaving his dad. Why would you try to make him stop his behavior? He sounds confused and insecure.His behavior is a sign, he misses his dad. I'm not trying to be mean but you need to see your part in this, it's probably contributing. You are allowing him to call a recent boyfriend dad? That's really not acceptable whether it was his choice or not. He may be have an attachment disorder.
    Musicmom80

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 6:41 AM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • Are you sure it was a good decision for your son to move him 2,500 miles away?!
    Shanna84

    Answer by Shanna84 at 7:45 AM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • If it upsets the man he can sent his son the stuff he misses. Or your son can collect some of it when he visits his Dad. He obviously remembers his father, and shouldn't be kept from him b/c it's convenient for you.

    Crafty26

    Answer by Crafty26 at 8:50 AM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • Have him send the stuff to you. If your son has what he misses then maybe he will want to talk to your ex, but maybe he won't. If he really does not remember your ex, why does he remember the stuff? It could be that he spent more time with his stuff than with your ex so that's what he wants. If this is the case, you really can't blame your son, just get your ex to put it in a box and ship it to you. Good luck.
    scout_mom

    Answer by scout_mom at 9:28 AM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • Don't do anything...it will stop in time.
    ShouldHaveLeft

    Answer by ShouldHaveLeft at 9:37 AM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • Uhhh, why do you think he remembers his toys but not his dad? I'm a military mom and I can tell you that kids that age DO remember their fathers. You say you left recently, which I'm guessing is less than a year (current length of adeployment). Anyway....why don't you just ask his father to mail his blanket and at least his favorite toys?
    PhilsBabyMama

    Answer by PhilsBabyMama at 8:22 PM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • Just to carify things.... I left my husband because of abuse towards myself and my son.... He calls my boyfriend daddy, because he loves my boyfriend... He remembers the abuse and the fact that he got hit, and doesnt want to go back and see him... he just wants his toys and blankey... because i couldnt take all our things with me on a bus to a new life for us... So please i understand that you were not trying to make me feel bad, but i thought i should let you guys know the reasoning as to why things went down the way that they did.. i do not regret the fact that i am letting my son call my guy daddy, because he is a great man and loves us unconditionally.... with that said i really need some advice on this problem that i have... thankyou
    megans_gotchu

    Comment by megans_gotchu (original poster) at 3:41 AM on Nov. 30, 2010

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