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HELP asap! sorry kind of long!

before i got pregnant me and my babies father were engaged and were supposed to get our own place together and when i told the babies father i was pregnant he broke up with me. didnt want to see me or go to the doctor with me or even talk to me. and now that i have names picked out and everything is going great im talking to someone else and everything. he decides to try and come back in my life and ask me will i get back with him and he wants to marry me and blah blah and is trying to name the babies now that im almost due. i had to go to through this whole pregnancy my first one at that with twins alone. he wants to get mad because i already have names picked out and everything. i dont want to be with him at all but i dont have a problem with him and by saying that i mean im not going to deny him from seeing his kids. in a way i feel he just doesnt have any say right now. in due December 22nd and he thinks he can come a month ahead of time and everything was going to be ok. im not that kind of person. what do you think?

 
mauricellaf

Asked by mauricellaf at 9:10 AM on Nov. 29, 2010 in Pregnancy

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Answers (10)
  • I think it's too little too late. You said yourself you have done this alone and there is someone else in the picture. He cansee the kids, but has no business trying to walk in NOW and say let's name them XXXX. The names are chosen stick with what you have chosen. Do not tell him when you go into labor or when you have a c-sections scheduled or whatever is going to happen. Above all be honest with him and yourself. If you are done with him then he needs to move on. If you still love him and want to work it out then give it a try. But I would deny him the right to change the names and attend the birth.
    2autisticsmom

    Answer by 2autisticsmom at 9:18 AM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • I think that maybe you could listen to his ideas and see if maybe you are willing to compromise with him on the names. If you don't like them then say so. He is quite late in wanting to man up but at least he so far is willing to try so give it a shot. I am in no way saying get back with him unless you love him and want to be with him. But if you guys are going to try to co parent the babies you are both going to have to learn to compromise. I wish you luck with this and pray for a safe and happy delivery for you guys.
    angelmine2011

    Answer by angelmine2011 at 9:15 AM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • Maybe he left because he was scared. Not that it excuses him for leaving when you needed him to be there but it may explain his sudden leaving. He thought you guys would be together, live together and get married - that was enough for him, then suddenly you were pregnant and it was to much to soon. After some time away and thinking about things he came to senses and realizes you and these babies is what he wants.
    If you don't want to be with him I just say be honest. These are his babies to so maybe you can talk and work out a way for him to see the babies once they're born. Figure out how he will help out financially with them too. Let him be involved with them. As far as the names, I'd say to bad LOL. I would just out right tell him you put a lot of thought into it, you've done it all alone and you already pick out their names.
    Jessica45

    Answer by Jessica45 at 9:22 AM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • I think names should be the least of your concerns with this guy. You need to lay it out for him. He needs to know that you have moved on, and decisions have been made in his absence. He can still be a part of the baby's life and you hope that he will, but as for a relationship with you, you were too hurt and affected by his abandonment the first time and don't want to settle for someone capable of that level of selfishness and immaturity.

    (Also, YOU control the name on the birth certificate if you fill out the form and have it ready to turn in at the hospital. You can even send it to the hospital before hand.)
    CarriePM

    Answer by CarriePM at 9:31 AM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • follow your gut it will never lie
    AliciaLamoreux

    Answer by AliciaLamoreux at 9:32 AM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • Even if he is in the picture for the kids then he needs to still pay child support. Continue to move on with your life but I still say you are both gonna have to learn to compromise and get along for the babies.
    angelmine2011

    Answer by angelmine2011 at 9:37 AM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • I think this is a glimpse of what kind of dad he will be. You can't choose when you're a dad, like he feels he can. I would be very careful with this situation and take things very slowly.
    kbakeman

    Answer by kbakeman at 9:45 AM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • well my cousin that i talk to told him that i was putting him on child support i think thats why he trying to come back because he doesnt want to be on child support. and i told him i dont want to be with him. i understand if he was scared he should of said something not just change his number and never come over again :(
    mauricellaf

    Comment by mauricellaf (original poster) at 9:27 AM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • He sound unreliable. Better ask for child support after you give birth.
    HotMama330

    Answer by HotMama330 at 12:31 PM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • everything is up to you its all mothers choice no matter what the situation
    Rachelxbby

    Answer by Rachelxbby at 3:36 PM on Nov. 29, 2010

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