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7 Bumps

what do you think of mothers like this...

This bugs me so much and I happen to have 2 people in my life who do it !

My friend and my cousin are both mothers who do not watch their kids very closely... and when their kids get hurt they use the excuse that " they are good moms and so they let their kids be independent and sometimes they get hurt because of it " .... I am all for a child having independent moments... but to let a 16 month old child roam the house alone while you are on the computer or in bed - that is laziness not letting your child learn on their own.....

and when her baby has bumps and lumps and bruises and even bloody "booboos" ... I think it is time to stop letting him have so much "independence"...

and then there is my cousin who is a stay at home mom having money troubles ( on PA ) ...and then borrows money ( from me and other family members) so her kids can go to daycare 5 days a week so they can learn independence ?!!? ... I know some parents do send their kids to daycare or preschool for those reasons, but 5 days a week is crazy and also the fact that both of her kids are under 3 years old ( one just turned 2 and one is a little over a year )

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:12 AM on Nov. 29, 2010 in Parenting Debate

Answers (31)
  • I agree with you, and disagree with both ways of parenting that you described. My son is 14 months and is in my sight at ALL times, unless he's asleep in his crib. Yea, he occasionally falls or bumps his head on something, but he never gets seriously injured because he's being supervised. As for being a sahm and sending your kids to day care...I find plenty of things wrong with that, but I don't even feel like getting into it.
    LovingSAHMommy

    Answer by LovingSAHMommy at 11:15 AM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • simple answer, if it bothers you disassociate yourself.
    ObbyDobbie

    Answer by ObbyDobbie at 11:16 AM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • Totally agree; laziness. Is there anyone in their lives they'll listen to about their poor parenting skills? What about threatening to get CPS involved?
    _Tam_

    Answer by _Tam_ at 11:16 AM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • I think there is a fine line between teaching children independence and just not bothering to be a parent. Yes, accidents do happen but they should not happen repeatedly or seriously especially when at least one parent is home. Staying home but sending the children to daycare, I personally don't agree with so I don't do it. I knew a mother who did that and complained incessantly about the cost. I remember thinking if it's such a big deal, don't. More often than not the children were in daycare so the mother could sleep or go shopping. It was her choice to do, I just didn't like listening to her whine about money problems when she did that kind of thing so I stopped talking to her. I had real problems to deal with.
    wildflowers25

    Answer by wildflowers25 at 11:22 AM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • It isnt as easy as just cutting them out of my life.... one is my cousin ( and we have a big close family) ... and the other is my friend and not only have we been friends since school days but she also lives across the street
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:26 AM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • Yes, I agree doing these things is wrong, but unless you are willing to step in & take over, there's not much you can do about it. Also, if you feel really strongly about your cousin sending her kids to daycare everyday, you could stop enabling her by not giving her the money to do it.
    mom2aspclboy

    Answer by mom2aspclboy at 11:34 AM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • I dont give her the money.... but she still asks
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:38 AM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • Yes, sounds like they are asleep at the wheel as parents to their young children. They should be taking advantage of their time home with their children and playing with them, teaching them, interacting with them. What is wrong with them? But, unfortunately it is their life, their problem. There isn't much that you can do to change them, but I sure wouldn't be lending any money to them. When she asks for the money, it is prime time to share some of your own feelings with her

    I think big family or not, I would start disassociating a little too.
    spottedpony

    Answer by spottedpony at 11:45 AM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • I don't see an issue with the first. Although I think you should make sure your kids are safe, booboos here and there aren't going to kill anyone. When my kids were that age I worked from home and they spent most of the day roaming about the home playing, it had nothing to do with laziness, but a need to provide. Did they get hurt from time to time? Yep. Did they ever loose an eye or an arm? Nope! Now that I am not working from home (not currently anyways) I see the benefit in letting them roam, learn and play on their own from a young age. Both of my boys are very independent, happy and healthy. I look at some of my friends who felt they needed to be with their kids constantly and protect them from everything and their kids can't seem to function without them now...
    SabrinaMBowen

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 12:21 PM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • As for the second half, the sending the kids to daycare... No, I don't agree. Daycare is needed for those who have no other childcare options, but I don't believe it should be used as a substitute to parenting or to other forms of social interactions. There are always play groups or other things available which don't require leaving your kids in someone elses care all day every day. If you work and can't be home with your kids, that's one thing, take them to daycare, but if you're home, your kids shouldn't be shuffled away every day, they do need mom and should have her there when she is needed...
    SabrinaMBowen

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 12:24 PM on Nov. 29, 2010

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