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How do I give my daughter the proper help? She has been out of control!

I have got a 6, almost 7 year old and lately she has been having major meldowns/tantrums. She cries and cries and cries, then screams and screams and screams. I had to take her little chair out of her room because she was banging that against a hall door. I really don't know what to do. There has got to be an underlying issue, but when you try to talk to her it is like she doesn't know and tries to think of one. I can't condone her behavior so today after school she is grounded to her room. I just don't like being the bad guy and have to do that without solving the issue. Does anyone have any suggestions? HELP!

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Asked by elphay at 11:14 AM on Nov. 29, 2010 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 3 (24 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • What brings the tantrums on? Is she over tired. Stressed? Reluctant to go to school? What new things are going on at your house?

    Answer by tootoobusy at 11:20 AM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • Have you considered a counselor. I am like you sounds like there may be something else behind this.

    Answer by arenad at 11:20 AM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • A lot of times it will help to keep her routine at home the same. I would suggest giving her other ways of showing her frustration or anger.. She sounds like she is old enough to write down how she is feeling (maybe a journal or something she can vent to) or tell her ways of saying how she is upset, without being rude or disrespectful. My daughter was having a hard problem with it over the summer but we got her into a new routine with school starting up again and it seemed to work itself out.
    Good luck!! =]

    Answer by JesF419 at 11:38 AM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • I would talk to her pediatrician and see if you can figure this out, it sounds like more than plain misbehavior. I think it is unusual to have tantrums like this at this age, usually they start to calm down and be more loving around age seven.

    Answer by spottedpony at 11:42 AM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • It may be a good idea to get a notebook and write down all the incidents - the time, what started it ,how long it lasts, and what she does. Then look and see if there is a pattern, or specific things that seem to cause the tantrums. I would also suggest counseling. I have a son who is on the Autism spectrum, he has meltdowns, rages and anger issues- I have had him in counseling for a while and I do believe it is helping. The therapist has given us different ideas and tools to use, and I think having someone impartial to talk to helps as well.

    Answer by MizLee at 11:51 AM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • I agree with MizLee- I have 3 on the Austism Spectrum and my oldest daughter wasn't diagnosed until she was 7. Your daughter's behavior sounds alot like my daughter's at that age. Have you talked to her school to find out what kind of behavior she is exhibiting there?? My daughter would come home and meltdown after school because she had to fight so hard to hold herself together during the day.

    Answer by Alynn74 at 11:56 AM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • We have had a lot of changes in the last few months, we have moved, however, she absolutely loves her new school. We have been doing the renovating thing so for a couple of months it was really bad, but she was fine, she just now got into her new room, her toys are all back, heck it was like Christmas all over again for her. With all the renovations we had all of our household items in storage and unfortunately that was broken into and we were wiped out so during her vacation we didn't really get to have any fun, instead we were dealing with the police and all that good stuff. She has been going on about her cat that went missing for months now and it seems like when ever she gets upset she mentions that or when it is bedtime. I really think there is more to it though. Where we have been pretty much camping at our house she seems to have gotten really lazy and sassy and has selective hearing!

    Comment by elphay (original poster) at 12:24 PM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • I have to add to that she was the easies child ever since the day she was born, she is stuck right up my butt all day everyday, I think I hear, "Mama" about a hundred times a day! This is totally a new thing I just want to get it under control before it becomes a permanent problem. I have considered counseling, but I have got to do my research on that one. I don't want to take her to just anyone.

    Comment by elphay (original poster) at 12:27 PM on Nov. 29, 2010

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