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How do you know?

The saying is so true, you can forgive but you can never forget.
I feel like anytime I am uncertain about something I fall back on "well he did it before why wouldn't he do it again".
How do you know when you have truly forgiven someone?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 11:47 AM on Nov. 29, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • i wonder the same things myself from time to time and his infidelities occured over a year ago. you just have to trust your gut instincts. if something's telling you something's up.. it probably is. i went with mine everytime and always found out something.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:49 AM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • "well he did it before why wouldn't he do it again".

    This doesn't mean that you haven't forgiven. It just means that you are not dumb enough to forget. If he went that far, then he only deserves for you to feel like that the rest of his life.

    Answer by Jademom07 at 11:50 AM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • when you stop having ill feelings towards them on the thing that hurt you. although you may not forget but the issue isn't painful and your not bitter about it anymore.

    Answer by melody77 at 11:50 AM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • i dont think i can every truly forgive people for things that they have done when its something major. i hold grudges for quite some time...eventually i truly and honestly forget about somethings.

    Answer by ajj_mami_grace at 11:50 AM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • Perhaps if you worked on the "why he did what he did" then you could assure yourself that he won't do it again. Fix the weak link and the chain will be stronger than ever and no need to spend time worrying about it. The welded spot made to strengthen it (emotional scar) will always be there so you can't forget but there will be no more reason to dwell.

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:59 AM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • It's really hard, and imo depends on the persons attitude that you are trying to forgive..for me anyway.. it "shouldn't" but it does...I forgave an x bf for cheating on me because he told me right away, he was absolute basketcase over it..another boyfriend, wouldn't confess until his balls were nailed to the wall, so to speak. If they feel genuinely sorry and do everything in their power to support your feelings it makes all the difference in the world.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:01 PM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • Im not sure most people can truly forgive. but even if you have if it walks like a duck....

    Answer by bellsandheels at 1:10 PM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • One of my ex's was a cheater. And I caught him a few times (I was so young and naiive). We would talk it out, and I wold forgive him, but I could never quite get over what he had done... every time he would go out, I would be a stressed out mess.. I couldnt trust him anymore. And for ME, that was enough to end it.
    So in my experience, you can never let go of that. Its such an intimate betrayal, and I could never let it go.
    Good luck to you... I hope in some way, you can let go.

    Answer by Mme.Langley at 3:55 PM on Nov. 29, 2010


    Answer by NicolesMommy at 2:26 AM on Nov. 30, 2010

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