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legal custody in order to write my will?

I never technically got legal or physical custody of my daughter considering the father and i were never married and he is not on the birth certificate. he does pay support and sees her sometimes. whenever he feels the need that he has time. he lives ina different state. he has not seen her in 4 months but that is not the issue at hand. i am just curious if anyone that does not have custody on paper now has gone for it in order to write a will? i mean the legal custody in order to legally be responsible to making all the decisions in her life and legally say who i would want her to live with if something happens to me. i read once even if i wrote i didn;'want her to live with her father if i passed that they would put her with her father anyways. i am not sure if that is true or not. just curious.


Asked by lambdarose at 12:53 PM on Nov. 29, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 22 (14,088 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • if you've got kids, you need to see a lawyer to write a will. i just recently read an article about this exact thing, and that's what it pointed out. not sure about whether or not if he's on the b/c, but you need a lawyer anyway, ask him
    not that you HAVE to have a lawyer, but so you can be sure you have all your i's dotted and your t's crossed, and that you have access to information, like this question

    Answer by AngryBob at 1:06 PM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • I'd like to know this too!!

    Answer by skittles1108 at 12:54 PM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • If her biological father is alive, and wants her at the time of her death he will most likely get custody unless he can be proven unfit. You have had physical custody of your child since her birth. You can write whatever you want in your will, just know he can challenge it, but it costs money to do so. The fact that he willingly pays child support without a court order will lend weight to his side if he were to fight.

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 12:58 PM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • Sorry..* time of YOUR death.

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 12:58 PM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • no no. lets say this he pays support with a court order sweety. he did not want to pay anything. he didn;t give her anything with out that court order. and threaten to go to court to get visitations and still has not. and its all because i went for child support because all child deserve to be supported by both their parents. anyways, yes he isn't that generous. lol

    Comment by lambdarose (original poster) at 1:02 PM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • I'd contact the attorney who will do your will and ask him/her. You need a paper saying you have legal custody or he could keep her after a visitation

    Answer by admckenzie at 1:05 PM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • thanks ladies. no he is not on the b/c but he signed that he was the bio dad when he went to court for the child support. so i think i am ready to finally write the will. i waited long enough and i have to protect my daughter. thanks

    Comment by lambdarose (original poster) at 1:15 PM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • oh he has never been left alone in his state with the baby. she is 20months. its always been in my state at my house. i left her for a few hours here and there but not long. i will not until its legally documented and i heard that from an attorney that is the right thing to do.

    Comment by lambdarose (original poster) at 1:16 PM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • Truthfully only a lawyer knows this.


    Answer by louise2 at 1:16 PM on Nov. 29, 2010