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4 year old with anxiety

My 4 year old daughter has anxiety, but she hasn't always had it. She gets very nervous and scared (it seems like) whenever I have to drop her off at school, or if she is at home and my fiance or I go to work, she has a fit. She is very mature for her age in most ways, but this is a recent thing, which is why it concerns me. She is not the type to throw a tantrum if she does not get her way. She is very understanding and realizes there are rules to follow, etc. She just seems to be having trouble in this one area. When she gets nervous, she "clams up", starts chewing on her sleeve, or talks very softly, her eyes well up with tears, or she puts her hand over her mouth while she talks. It's almost like she's nervous or something. It definitely concerns me. I've made an appt with her doc, but that isn't until Wednesday. Has anyone else dealt with these type of symptoms for their child??

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Asked by Anonymous at 2:21 PM on Nov. 29, 2010 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Answers (7)
  • I think its an attachment phase, my son did this. I gave him one of my "special" things to take to school so he could take care of it and he felt closer to me because of this item (a ring), and I always made sure he knew I was going to be home soon. It sounds like separation anxiety.


    Answer by bjojola at 2:25 PM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • all three of my children have anxiety...but it is all part and parcel of their Autism and Fragile-X Syndrome so it probably does not pertain to you, but I just wanted to let you know you weren't alone...anxiety is a hard one to cope with...the BEST thing you can do is teach her can do that by making sure you follow through with EVERYTHING you say you are going to do, by giving her routines and if something is going to be different from routine that she has lots of preparations for giving her rules for everything...even if its something that seems so logical, just say, it's a rule...she obviously is good with following rules, so give her lots of them...not all at once, but if you notice she's not getting something or if she is having a hard time coping, give her a rule...I remember saying to my oldest daughter once "it's a rule" just to get her to stop asking "why" and it clicked...she said oh ok and did it!

    Answer by FXmomTo3 at 2:31 PM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • She is having a hard time. showing her emotions. Scared, mad, upset, ect....... that's all.  I say. It is not anxiety.  Just her growing up.


    Answer by louise2 at 2:36 PM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • Your daughter sounds like my son. My four year old has anxiety and we see a therapist for him. He is very well behaved. Talking about it with your doctor is a great start. It is normal for preschoolers to have anxiety but if it interferes with her ability to have normal routines, socialize with kids her age, participate in age appropriate activities, and impacts how you do things or don't do things....then seek extra assistance. There is no down side to seeking temporary counseling.  Some anxiety will pass and some lingers.  If it lasts for more than a couple of months....see someone.  If it passes with a few changes - no big deal.  Sometimes anxiety is genetic.  If you or her biological father have a history of anxiety talk to her doctor about her family history.  Lots of people have it and we very rarely discuss it or treat it as seriously as we should.


    Answer by frogdawg at 2:44 PM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • No, but best of luck, mama.

    Answer by PhilsBabyMama at 8:16 PM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • I haven't but GL. Hopefuuly you dr. will be able to provide some insight.

    Answer by ethans_momma06 at 9:21 PM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • my dd had it when she was around 2, but she reliezed i was coming back and was ok with me leaving her.

    Answer by tonyalynn at 8:46 PM on Nov. 30, 2010

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