Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Santa Dillema

My husband and I are Christians. He wants to raise our son believing that St Nicholas WAS real but that Santa is not and presents under the tree from Santa are just a silly tradition and are from mom and dad. He was really upset when he found out Santa wasn't real, he feels we'd be lying to our son and wants to make sure the emphasis of Christmas is on the birth of Christ. I want to give our son the opportunity to have some Christmas magic. Kids hardly get to be kids anymore and some of the fondest memories I have were of finding sooty boot prints outside, hearing sleight bells, finding half eaten cookies in the morning- the works. I'm all about preserving our children's innocence and I feel like giving them magic is one way to do it. How do I explain to him believing in Santa isn't going to turn him into an aethiest or that when he finds out it won't give him some horrible complex.

Answer Question

Asked by katiekruschke at 3:18 PM on Nov. 29, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 13 (1,043 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • Well we've raised our kids to know that Santa is a fun game we play at Christmas time and not a real person who hands out presents. I don't think it's taken anything away from them, they still think that Christmas is magical, and this way they all get to be a part of making the magic.

    Answer by riotgrrl at 3:20 PM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • You need to sit down and see if you can get him to see how your childhood felt with your Christmas "Magic". My children are all older and know how Santa 'works' and they don't feel disillusioned at all.

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 3:20 PM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • Not everyone is that upset over Santa not being real. I say give the kids some magic, they don't believe for very long. And you can still emphasize Christ, it doesn't have to be one or the other.

    Answer by rhianna1708 at 3:24 PM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • My dd jsut found out the truth about santa. She is 8 and she was so excited to find out it was me. Basically she told me she wanted to know the truth and we talked alot about the spirit of st. nick and the reason for the season and I told her giving is way better than recieving and that is why I have enjoyed being her santa all these years. she jsut jumped up and laughed and hugged me. I think the santa stuff is fun and when she asked I told her the truth I didnt lie to her. When we used to go to chuckecheese I would say let's see chucke. When she asked if it was a person dressed up I told her yes..but I never said that from the beginning..I let her use her imagination!!

    Answer by ria7 at 3:26 PM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • I can totally identify with your DH. I was also very upset when i found out that Santa wasn't real...i felt that i had been made a fool of by my parents.

    I actually still feel sad that Santa isn't real, but i remember my time "with Santa" very fondly, and i wouldn't want to deprive my 4y DS of that.

    He believes in all kinds of things that aren't real, like Spiderman, Batman, & magic tricks.

    Believing in things that aren't real is just part of childhood. Disappointment is too.

    Answer by UpSheRises at 3:28 PM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • I leave it open. We talk about the fact that long ago (and my son is four but we have had this discussion since last year) there was this man who lived and people now call him by different names: Santa Claus, Chris Kringle, St. Nicholas...ect. I say that he the story goes he lived with one family and another, as a foster child, leaving presents at the end of each year as he was moved to live with a new family (one version of the story). I explain why he left the gifts. As he gets older I will add other stories and versions. But the moral never really changes. This St. Nick left toys to share in order to spread his love. We read Polar Express at night and I ask if he believes in the spirit of St. Nick. He says yes. The book is actually clear that some grow up and don't believe anymore. I leave it at that. He believes in the magic and I have left it open to questions and I don't lie. I don't say there IS a Santa nor


    Answer by frogdawg at 3:43 PM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • do I claim there is no Santa. I am just grateful the spirit of this person stays with our home and our community so we can share in the love of giving and recognizing those in need during this season. I keep Santa separate from the reason why we celebrate. I have told him many people celebrate Christmas to honor a baby that was born named Jesus. Simple.


    Answer by frogdawg at 3:45 PM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • We are a Christian household and our kids know from the beginning that we are celebrating Christ's birth, but we've done Santa too. I wasn't upset when I found out about Santa, and my older kids weren't either. Ask him to think about who celebrates Santa (almost everybody) and how many atheists he knows? I know tons of people that celebrate Santa and I know very few atheists. Santa is just a fun part of Christmas when they're young!

    Answer by missanc at 3:49 PM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • My son was not upset when he found out that I was Santa, he just asked me "Santa, can you still bring me another present this year!?" lol. He knows that Christmas is about celebrating the birth of Christ. I would try talking to your DH and explain how you felt with Santa and if you were upset. Most children don't get so upset, in fact, most figure it out on their own. Maybe even have him read some of the posts to your question? It might help, it might not. I think Christmas magic and believing is good. We watch The Polar Express every year, and my son and I both say we believe in Santa--that is the "Spirit" of Santa, the magic and wonder!

    Answer by Tawneekitn at 6:09 PM on Nov. 29, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.