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How to handle a friend holding a grudge?

So I work with a friend who I've noticed holds grudges. But, when I ask her what is the matter, she says nothing and changes the subject. Problem is, she makes work miserable for me because she will conveniently forget to tell me important things like meeting times and shift schedules, etc. It's a small company and she is the supervisor in charge when I'm there. I am being disrespected by her and don't know what I've done to make her mad. When I ask why she didn't remind me of meeting times, etc, her answer is always, "I forgot, it slipped my mind". I know when I'm being disrespected and this is a sign of disrespect. How should I act from now on to not let this bother me?

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Asked by Anonymous at 3:19 PM on Nov. 29, 2010 in Money & Work

Answers (6)
  • Bring it up in a meeting with her present... with her supervisor. If no one above her knows what effect her attitude and approach is having on their company, no one can do anything about it.

    Document it, though --the she said/she said contest will always go to her.

    Answer by LindaClement at 3:23 PM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • problem is that she is not your "friend" at work. she is your supervisor and it is a sign of disrespect and immaturity to "forget" to tell you about important things going on at work. It is her job to inform you. If somthing outside of work is causing it, it is also very unprofessional. You should ask to have a meeting with her and another supervisor present in your workplace. You shouldnt have to be worried about her issues while trying to do your job.

    Answer by chanelsparkels at 3:25 PM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • I would ask her every morning if there are any meetings or events that you need to add to your calendar. She'll get the idea, or at least she should give you the information, you'll be able to document what she says each day. Maybe send her an e-mail at the end of each day with your upcoming schedule, and ask for any updates that you should add.

    I wouldn't humiliate her in a meeting, she's your supervisor, and whether she's doing something wrong or not, that will only cause more problems.

    Answer by ohwrite at 3:42 PM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • So, I am having a similar problem. A friend at work blames me for something (or whatever her problem is) and she is holding it against me. At this point, she has held a grudge against me for so long, I decided she isn't a friend anymore and that solves that problem. It hurt alot until I came to that solution and now I am free from the pain she is trying to cause me by holding the grudge. I no longer let her have that control over me. It's a mind thing, I think.

    Answer by at 3:48 PM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • How is your job search going?

    Answer by rkoloms at 5:28 AM on Nov. 30, 2010

  • A person who acts this way is NOT your friend. Is there an HR person you can talk to about this?

    Answer by HotMama330 at 12:11 PM on Nov. 30, 2010

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