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Guess she wasn't a real friend. Lift my spirits, please?

Met this woman a year ago through a friend. We became close, fast. She kinda dropped the other friend but her reasons sounded good & I don't trust the other friend anyway. So this woman was: single mom w/4kids, welfare, no job, Section8, foodstamps, medi-cal, ssi, child support, lazy, dirty house, sits on lap top all day. She was dating a guy for 10 yrs who wouldn't commit.

During our friendship I did her tons of favors. Lent her $$$ (she paid back), gave her rides when she was out of gas etc. We would talk or hang out frequently.

Fast forward to the last couple months. She broke up w/ her boyfriend & is now dating a married man. She got a babysitting job UNDER the table = welfare fraud. So she has a new beau and more money now and I guess no longer needs me. I haven't spoken to her but maybe 6 times lately and 90% of that was me emailing or popping over to say hi.

Guess I should just chalk it up to experience. I was used again.
Kind words? Can you relate?


Asked by Anonymous at 4:25 PM on Nov. 29, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • Could have wrote that myself and it stinks! May be better off without her!

    Answer by rebeccadac at 11:29 AM on Nov. 30, 2010

  • All you can do is know you were a good friend to her. Wish her no ill will. Karma has a way of giving to those..what they've given to others. Live and learn. I am very cautious about 'close and fast" relationships anymore. Go slow and check yourself often.

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 4:30 PM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • Wow! Well since you asked...I will share a story I heard from a friend I had years ago. We were riding in the car and I saw a girl I knew and I waved "hey" and she did not wave back. I was pissed and decided she was a jerk ..blah blah ( you know the drill). My older yet wiser girlfriend listened to all my whatevers... and asked me if I waved to her so she would wave back? I did not wave to her so she would wave back did I? I think you were a good friend because you liked her and wanted to help. Did you do all those things so she would be grateful?? My guess is Not. This situation will come again and maybe you will think like I did why...and what...I am looking for. I learned to look for what I want in relationships...especially friends. I no longer nurture needy friends. Good sound like a friend I would want to have. Michelle

    Answer by rosetoes at 4:35 PM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • "She broke up w/ her boyfriend & is now dating a married man. She got a babysitting job UNDER the table = welfare fraud. "

    Well... you know what they say... with friends like these! You'll find better friends. Really!

    Answer by gdiamante at 4:33 PM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • Sounds like my neice exactly, I hate to say it but she used you just like I'm being used by my neice, because I got so attatched to her little baby. People like this use people like us and the system to get what they need.I dont think they will ever change, so really it's best you walk away. It's probably a blessing she moved on!

    Answer by anichols1 at 4:55 PM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • Yes, I can relate. Some people don't need friends as much as they want someone to lean on. Sucks.

    Answer by JulieJacobKyle at 4:26 PM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • GrnEyesGran: I am very reserved about friends, that's why it bothers me. She is literally the first person in almost 20 years I have made an effort to befriend. We just seemed to hit it off. I guess I am slowly learning her real character and ignored a few warning signs. Oh well....

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 4:32 PM on Nov. 29, 2010