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If he has done it before, will he do it again? adult content

Well, long story short, I met my husband when I was 15 years old. We didn't get married then, but we did have a child when I was 17. So, after the first time he threw me to the ground, I forgave him. I left him for a few weeks, forgave him and moved in with him. Of course, he sold me that "I love you and I'll never hurt you again bid". And I fell for it. Well, I got fed up with him being in the streets and amongst other things, so I wanted out. This time, my son he was about 7-8 months old. As I was packing my things, he walks in the shack of a home he moved us into and asks me where I'm going. I tell him I'm going to a friend's house (I was lying) and he knew it. So, he kept asking and I kept looking away and lying. I tell him to move and he grabs me. I try to run to the phone to call for help and he takes the phone of the jack, moves the sofa against the back door so I can't leave. I fight to get away and of course he is 6'3 and I'm 5'7 so I'm losing, he throws me on the couch and has me y the neck and with his knees in my chest... I'm slowly losing consciousness watching my eight-month old in his high chair eating. He knows nothing of what's going on..... but the point of it all, ten years later, we're married. He goes to church, he doesn't do what he use to, up until November 14th, we argue over a weird number in his phone. At the end of this number was a female's voice. So I confront him, get mad and ask him to leave. I start throwing his things out the house because I'm mad and he gets in my face and tells me if I throw another on of his things out the door, he was going to do something, I slapped him out of rage that he would say that--- and then there we go, he tosses me over the love seat in our living room and hits me in the head.

I'm at loss for words.... he's in jail. Is asking me to stick by him, but I don't know what to do. I am in school, I couldn't focus on it. I have a good job that I couldn't go to because I was bruised up and sore for a whole week. And he's asking me to help him get through this because I am his wife. I just don't know. I know that a part of me is dumb for taking him back after the first few incidents that happened YEARS ago, but I guess people don't change. He wants to get counseling, but I feel that it's too late for all of that. What should I do? What would you do?

 
Bumble_She

Asked by Bumble_She at 5:10 PM on Nov. 29, 2010 in Relationships

Level 6 (109 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • you have to consider the children and what they see...I think it is time you protect them from the cycle that you yourself has admitted to be going through...regardless the time span between incidents it will get worse...I would not stand up for him I would stand up for you and your children now...if not now they will have to watch as their entire life crumbles because of a man who cannot control his behaviour...yes you slapped him but throwing you about and hitting or punching is way more than a slap in the face at this point...walk away while you have the legs to do it!

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:38 PM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • As hard as it will be, I'd be OUT THE DOOR HONEY! ESPECIALLY IF YOU HAVE CHILDREN! Maybe he doesn't hit them but this behavior still AFFECTS them! They see it, they feel it, they see you fear, they see your bruises, they feel the tension and learn to fear him. Is this what you want for your children? By staying, NO MATTER WHAT YOU SAY TO THEM, you are teaching them it's OK to hit girls and your teaching them they have to take it. Think about it, what do you want for your kids? If you don't care enough for yourself to get out for you, think about what it's doing to and for them. And yes, I'VE BEEN THERE, DONE THAT!!!
    raynestar

    Answer by raynestar at 5:21 PM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • You slapped him first this time-you are lucky you aren't in jail. You both need to grow up already!
    MamaAlice54

    Answer by MamaAlice54 at 5:15 PM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • I wouldn't stick by him I feel from your story you have given him plenty of chances and yes he will do it again. Although right now I would probably be fearing for my life and the life of my child(ren).
    Moms_Angels1960

    Answer by Moms_Angels1960 at 5:21 PM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • This isn't on him. This is on him AND you. Grow up. Decide what you want in your life and what you don't. And do what's necessary to make that happen.
    yoliplus6

    Answer by yoliplus6 at 5:21 PM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • Yes he will do it again and again,he won,t ever stop.Live your life as strong person that you are,do not be a slave to no man.
    coloredribbons

    Answer by coloredribbons at 5:17 PM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • True. But in the previous events the other three times he did it to me on hiw own. So I was the dumb one who took him back. No, I shouldn't have slapped him first, but he was telling me hwe was going to hurt me in front of the children. I got upset, instead of walking away.....
    Bumble_She

    Comment by Bumble_She (original poster) at 5:19 PM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • This will continue until someone is seriously hurt or killed. While he is in jail, get the hell out. Don't kid yourself anymore. You know him too well.
    charlottej

    Answer by charlottej at 6:03 PM on Nov. 29, 2010

  • This is your decision that no one can answer for you because they don't have the emotional tie that you do. What he did was out of line, but what you did was out of line. I'm surprised you were not arrested. I was arrested for domestic violence 4th degree assult back in feb. after a drunken argument got physical. I initiated it, I got cuffed and hauled to jail. From my experience he may be court ordered to go to anger management or counseling. We had a court ordered DVO, no contact order so we couldn't see or contact each other at all anyway. If you want to give this another chance I would suggest you BOTH get some counseling. Individual and marital.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:05 PM on Nov. 29, 2010

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